Good Afternoon to you,
Welcome to HealingWell. I am so sorry you are going through this as I am sure it is bringing you much heartache. I suspect your feelings are going through times of absolute resentment and anger to sorrow and sadness. Please do not feel that his behavior has been caused by you. The lies, disception, and disrespect are his doing.
I know it always takes two to make a marriage work but from what I have read you have doing your best to keep the marriage together. I suspect him stating you are dead hurts the most. ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))).
It is possible that he isn't serious about the dating site, but just wanted to see if other women would be interested in him - just wants the ego boost of knowing that someone else is attracted to him. Maybe ?
It sounds like your marriage had problems before this, so I think the dating sites are a symptom, not the source of the problem.
I have to ask you if you are happy with him?
I'm not advocating for you to leave... I'm just asking you to ask yourself what it is about him that you are happy with anyway? Is it a matter of dependency? A matter of time already invested that you don't want to lose? It sounds like before you ever even found the dating profiles you were feeling something was amiss in your relationship.
I truly hope the counselling works out for you both.
Keep on talking with us as we are here to support you.
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"If you can't change the world, change your world"