I feel stupid, and down.

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spiral v
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/9/2011 1:22 PM (GMT -6)   
  I am new to this site.  my wife of ten yrs says she is unhappy. we have not been intimate in 4 months her choice. I started seeing a counselor, and they put me on meds,but the meds only take the edge off my heart ache. Im pretty sure she has somebody else, but she wont admit it. I asked her point blank if she was going to dump me, and she wouldnt answer me. It would be good to find out where this roller coaster is going. Thanks 

FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3447
   Posted 2/9/2011 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
First of all, welcome to the forum! Have you asked your wife if she would try marriage counseling? It isn't stupid to feel down if you are having relationship and intimacy issues. Try talking to your counselor, they may give you an idea about bringing the subject up with your wife that will encourage her to be more open with you.

Thoughts and prayers are with you,
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease, Depression, & Celiac Disease forums
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 2/9/2011 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Spiral,

Jon has given you some excellent advise, but I would still like to reinforce that and welcome you to the forum.

I am sorry for your situation. It is very difficult when you can't get answers out of the other person. Maybe she doesn't even know how she feels.

Hang in there.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 2/9/2011 3:07 PM (GMT -6)   
^ +1,000,000. Sorry you are hitting a rough patch right now. I think you guys could benifit from marriage counseling at least so you can get this stuff out in the open and find out where you both stand. Keep us posted.
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.

spiral v
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/9/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."RUSH. She says she feels unhappy, She says its not my fault. I feel like telling her to s@#T or get off the pot! She doesnt want to see a marriage counceler. I hate this!

spiral v
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/10/2011 1:57 PM (GMT -6)   
   thank you for the support, I know you cant have the good without the bad. I wish I could convince my wife to help herself. she is a great person. I think that I probably have an overactive imagination. thanks for listening, and happy valentines day to all of you.

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 2/10/2011 4:02 PM (GMT -6)   
i hope everything works out for you. Its a tough situation, did she give you a reason why she didn't want to go to the councelor?
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.

spiral v
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/19/2011 12:11 AM (GMT -6)   
 she is leaving me,I think her mind is pretty much made up. the reason she doesnt want to go to the counseling, is she doesnt want the counselor to change her mind. I think she is very deppressed. she says its not my fault,but it doesnt make it any easier. I know Im depressed, losing my wife of ten years is overwhelming. thanks for listening. 
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