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Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 2/15/2011 6:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a couple of concerns that are just bugging the hell out of me.  Hopefully someone can shed some light on these problemsa nd let me know if I should really give them much attention, or just try and shrug them off.
 
#1 - The never ending problem of having so much trouble focusing on what I'm doing, feeling like I almost have ADHD or something.  While I'm doing something I'm always thinking about what I'm going to do next, what's after this, what's after that.  This has caused me to make a few minor mistakes at work, repeatedly though.  Also when it happens in situations like running on the treadmill, or watching a tv show, or trying to study for an exam, it really makes me question my sanity and why I can't just buckle down and live in the moment and focus.
 
#2 - The amount of time I spend in a day in deep thought.  When I mean deep thought I mean really deep thought, analyzing and trying to figure out "life".  Wondering if it's possible to be alone for the rest of my life and be alright.  I've been single my whole life and I'm 25 now, and I'm getting in this ridiculous rut and I'm wondering if that if I keep it up if I'll just wind up being some crazy deranged old man.  I think about how I really could use someone there to help me or atleast keep company, but at the same time the idea of actually having someone there would make me feel so awkward and strange because I'm so used to being on my own most of the time.
 
#3 - I am trying my best to steer away from drinking.  And I know in other forums people have told me that they think I have a drinking problem.  But honestly, I think that's a joke.  I am 25 yrs old and single, going out on the weekends is something EVERY 25 yr old does.  And honestly I only drink MAYBE once a week, sometimes not even that.  But I know it does mess with my sleeping habits, and now I'm so nervous about it that even if I do have ad rink or two the worry and anxiety of feeling bad the next day and anticipating sleeping problems totally ruins my night out for me and makes me shut down and pretty much denies me any chance of enjoying myself with friends on a saturday night anymore.
 
#4 - The feeling/guilt of realizing how bad I have secluded my family and friends over the last 3-4 years.  It started once I had my jaw surgery to correct a severe open bite I had when I was younger.  I corrected it and it caused so much swelling and numbness that I became an absolute hermit for MONTHS.  I didnt even want to see my own immediate family, I would sit in my room and watch endless episodes of deadliest catch and other tv shows to just pass the time.  I was definetlly 1000 x more depressed then then I have ever been, the key is though, I didn't have the anxiety symptoms.  Anyways, after that I just felt like I could never get back in the swing of things.  I felt like I never quite got back to where I was emotionally/physically/mentally before the surgery.  This concerns me a lot because I often think about how I might have been better off had I just lived with my severe open bite and slight physical deformity.  Wonder if I'd be in a better place now.  Also, I worry a lot about maybe this could be PTSD too because I was mugged and choked unconscious right after my surgery walking home from a party one night.  It took me a LONG time to begin to actually feel like a man again after that.  I felt almost invincible until I got choked unconscious and left in the street for dead, then after that i felt almost immasculated (might be pretty extreme choice of definition) whenever anybody would bring the subject up.  I would get SOOOO mad and defensive.
 
Well if anyone has any feedback and can shed some light on whether or not they find these concerns "crazy" or "bipolar" I'd appreciate it.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 2/15/2011 7:10 PM (GMT -6)   
As long as you aren't focusing on what you are doing, you are going to make mistakes. And dwelling (or in deep thought as you put it) on things just makes us focus less on what is going on at the time. So learn to live in the now and take life one day at a time.

I have posted to you before about drinking and depression. That only makes us worse. Even if you only have one drink, it has a depressive reaction on the brain. So no amount of alcohol is good for a depressed person.

You probably got some scars from the mugging incodent, but I doubt that you have PTSD, though a therapist or psychiatrist would help to determine that.

I think you are thinking too much and not paying attention to what is going on in the moment. You miss out on life going through this. There is nothing wrong with kicking back and enjoying Deadliest Catch. That is a great series. But are you really paying attention, and watching it, or are you thinking about other things. You need to enjoy your life. You are still young. Get out there and be happy and in the moment.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 2/15/2011 7:37 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't really enjoy anything I do, Im constantly thinkin about how bad I feel and how I can get better.  I've stayed committed to working out for the last 2 weeks and I've been watching what i eat in an effort to lose weight and aslo just feel better.  But it's just so hard for me to get back to the things I used to like to do, it just doesn't feel right.  The shows I used to watch, the things I used to do, the friends I used to hang out with, everything just feels different.
 
One positive thing though, I've been thinking a lot about fishing lately.  Something I normally like to do in the summer but haven't done much of in the last 2 years.  So I'm taking that as a sign that maybe I'm bouncing back....either that or its just another wild impulse idea that will fade in a week.

solitaryangel1983
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 2/15/2011 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hmmm, this is a lot like something I've felt lately too... Everything has started losing all meaning to me ever since I lost some very previous things in my life, and I find that I don't enjoy anything anymore... I actually can't really replace the things I've lost with new things either, because I was already involving myself in all of my interests as much as I could, and I actually find a lot of 'normal' hobbies and activities to be boring. My personal preferences are also uncommon where I live, so I can't find any kindred spirits so to speak. All the people around me ever seem to do is watch football, play poker, party, and drink, and I'm not interested in any of those things... I'm the kind of person who completely stays away from things like drugs and alcohol. I've never touched any of it.

Anyway, enough about me... I wanted to say something to support you. I understand how you feel about the whole 'wild impulse' concept, since I sometimes get inspiration but then find it die the moment the reality of my life comes back and smacks me in the face, BUT I would like to offer one suggestion. I'm a firm believer of accepting how you truly feel for what it is and living by it. If you genuinely feel passionate about fishing at this very moment, regardless of the reason why, then I think you should pursue it with your whole heart. That's my thoughts on it anyway.

Post Edited (solitaryangel1983) : 2/15/2011 6:55:25 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 2/15/2011 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that you should go fishing too. It is relaxing and just being with nature has something to say for itself. I haven't been fishing in years, but I really love it. I love catching the fish and eating them too. Nothing better than fresh bluegills. lol... That is my favorite. So I say go for it.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 2/16/2011 5:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Got another couple of months to go for that, but definetly going to get myself a nice casting pole and give it a go this summer. If it actually becomes one of the rare things I enjoy doing (lol), then I might actually think about buying a truck this winter so that I can drive on the beach and go fishing next year to relax. There's a really good spot to drive on the beach adn fish here on long island but u have to have a 4x4 vehicle for it. Don't think my cobalt is going to cut it

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 2/16/2011 6:56 AM (GMT -6)   
LOL... I think you are right about getting a 4 by 4. I can't find the times sign on my computer so I said 'by'. lol... I think it is great that you are thinking positive. Is there anything else that you like to do that you might start doing again? I was going to uy a crossword puzzle book the other day and it was 6.00. I know that isn't much, but it is for a puzzle book. I get the urge to do them and enjoy them. I like bookworm too. I am up to 6 million points and still going. Got to beat my highest score!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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