Thanks Scaredy cat!
I got an appointment at Behavioral Health for tomorrow, I've made a lot of other appointments before but have never showed up, I'm afraid everyone will be looking at me and thinking I'm crazy. I read some of the articles on social anxiety and - wow- they describe my whole life. I'm so lonely and want friends, but I'm afraid of people. And when, for instance, my sister tries to introduce me to her friends at an event or something, I don't know, I feel like I'm trying not to fall out of the circle, the circle of people keeps closing and I keep falling out, and I know how silly I look like I'm afraid the circle of talking people are going to bite but it's like I'm hanging on to stop from drowning - I fall I drown, then I climb into the circle but I'm choking and it's ackward and wierd. That's why I feel maybe I'm crazy, I've always been this way and it seems like everyone gets it except for me. Why don't I get it?!! Well wish me luck for tomorrow and thanks for the resources!