It's nice that you've joined the Depression Forum, and I hope you will find friends here who understand what you're going through and will be of help to you.
My first impression is that you are very young, in high school, perhaps, and are possibly about
15 or 16 years old. That's an age when young
people are really experimenting in life and are learning about
a social life is all about
and how to relate to and deal with people.
Let me tell you first that the boy you indicate as having a great social life isn't having a social life at all. He's doing what we call "trying on outfits" to see which personality type is best for him. Social life, in reality, is a life of goodness, interest in other people, concern for good manners and good behavior. It is helpfulness, cooperation, and kindness.
None of those quailties seem to be part of your friend's behavior. In many ways you are developing a more social personality than he is. You know
that your feelings are deeper than a "fly-by-night" desire to meet every girl possible. You are aware that your heart has real feelings for caring for someone, not for sleeping around as some young people attempt.
You should keep your high standards and look for a young lady who holds similar standards. There are many of them out there; you just
need to know what to look for. Try to find a girl who is gentle, quiet, and pleasant, who dresses neatly and is concerned about
neatness and goodness. She will need to be kind to people, first and foremost.
That's the type girl whom you need to look for.
Concentrate on your studies and achieving academically. Girls will notice you, believe me, if you have the qualities I just mentioned that you should look for in a girl.
If anxiety is a problem, tell your parents about
it and ask for help.
A good doctor will be able to help you through the tough times right now until you do meet someone, although it isn't really essential that you meet someone to be a nice guy.
Your friend who is "social" as you say is anything but that. In time, you will learn what I mean, and you will see how the girls whom he has dated and left behind feel about
Teenage years are difficult until you begin to settle into an understanding of what to expect of yourself. I would list them as liking yourself for who you are, making an effort to succeed on your own academically, dressing well, being very clean in your person, and being kind to others. Try to be helpful to others without overdoing it. People will notice, believe me.
what your earlier views are of "having a great social life".
At this point, everyone is learning about
social life. Some have an idea of it that is truly ridiculous; others go on with living quietly and being kind and helpful--that more closely resembles a social life.
Someone here who's close to your age is going to be in touch with you,
I feel sure.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 2/19/2011 11:13:16 AM (GMT-7)