Hey everyone, Ive stumbled across this forum whilst searching around for information which may help me, so i thought i would post up.
Im 27 and have recently moved from the UK to Dubai, i moved out at the start of Jan, so it really was a new start to a new year. In moving out to Dubai, i left behind a lot of friends and family, but also i left behind my girlfriend of 18 months. Weve known each other since being around 13, have been in a relationship since June 2009, its always been a tad up and down, but never to any major extreme. She supported me fully in taking this opportunity as it was a dream of mine to work and move abroad and we decided to give the long distance relationship a try.
However, since arriving here in Dubai, i have felt nothing but emptiness, sadness and loneliness. I am struggling to fit in with my work colleagues, struggling to concerntrate and apply myself in a job that i know that i can do. Im struggling to sleep at times, at times living or 3 - 4 hours sleep until my body finally gives in then ill sleep for 13 - 14 hours straight before the cycle starts again.
Ive tried to talk to people about how i feel back home, but whenever i do all i get from them is 'your in Dubai, how can you feel like that' nobody seems to understand or more improtantly maybe, care. Even my girlfriend seems to be very distant from me. The first 5 weeks, she struggled to come to terms with me not being there for her. I couldnt just take her out, or cook her tea, or just sit with my arm around her when she had a hard day. I understood what she was feeling and supported her, told her everything would be ok, told her i was coming home for her definately. And she got through it, she has stopped crying herself to sleep she says she is not constantly thinking about being with me.
I think as well what has intensified these feelings is the way my girlfriend has been with me the past 2 weeks or so, since she came to terms with everything. She rarely instigates any kind of communication, it feels like it is me that has to send the first mail, me that has to call via skype, and im starting to think that her way of coming to with things is to pretty much ignore me and sort of forget about me. Now this may not be the case, and me feeling like this i think is purely because i am feeling so down and lonely, but i cant help it. In addition, i am beginning to feel bored with emailing and talking over skype once a week. I have suggested things such as sitting down and watching a film at the same time whilst talking via skype, or playing games over the internet, but these things have been played down by her as she hasnt got the time at weekend to do them. It feels she has time to socialise at home and for everyone back there, as it helps take her mind off me....but she hasnt got the time to try and do more with me despite the distance. The feelings at times have got that bad ive stood on the balcony of my 22nd floor apartment and thought it would be so much easier to just go! Now i would never do this, but the thought did enter my head!
Im sorry for unloading, but i think i needed to. I think my relationship is all but over, but because of me and my thoughts and the way i am feeling and im struggling to come to terms with things, that i could be losing so much in order to gain a very good life experience, and im not coping all that well with things. Ive never really felt like this before and i dont like feeling like this either, but i just needed to discuss things.