Recently Moved Abroad - Mentally Starting to Struggle

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/20/2011 1:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone, Ive stumbled across this forum whilst searching around for information which may help me, so i thought i would post up.
Im 27 and have recently moved from the UK to Dubai, i moved out at the start of Jan, so it really was a new start to a new year. In moving out to Dubai, i left behind a lot of friends and family, but also i left behind my girlfriend of 18 months. Weve known each other since being around 13, have been in a relationship since June 2009, its always been a tad up and down, but never to any major extreme. She supported me fully in taking this opportunity as it was a dream of mine to work and move abroad and we decided to give the long distance relationship a try.
However, since arriving here in Dubai, i have felt nothing but emptiness, sadness and loneliness. I am struggling to fit in with my work colleagues, struggling to concerntrate and apply myself in a job that i know that i can do. Im struggling to sleep at times, at times living or 3 - 4 hours sleep until my body finally gives in then ill sleep for 13 - 14 hours straight before the cycle starts again.
Ive tried to talk to people about how i feel back home, but whenever i do all i get from them is 'your in Dubai, how can you feel like that' nobody seems to understand or more improtantly maybe, care. Even my girlfriend seems to be very distant from me. The first 5 weeks, she struggled to come to terms with me not being there for her. I couldnt just take her out, or cook her tea, or just sit with my arm around her when she had a hard day. I understood what she was feeling and supported her, told her everything would be ok, told her i was coming home for her definately. And she got through it, she has stopped crying herself to sleep she says she is not constantly thinking about being with me.
I think as well what has intensified these feelings is the way my girlfriend has been with me the past 2 weeks or so, since she came to terms with everything. She rarely instigates any kind of communication, it feels like it is me that has to send the first mail, me that has to call via skype, and im starting to think that her way of coming to with things is to pretty much ignore me and sort of forget about me. Now this may not be the case, and me feeling like this i think is purely because i am feeling so down and lonely, but i cant help it. In addition, i am beginning to feel bored with emailing and talking over skype once a week. I have suggested things such as sitting down and watching a film at the same time whilst talking via skype, or playing games over the internet, but these things have been played down by her as she hasnt got the time at weekend to do them. It feels she has time to socialise at home and for everyone back there, as it helps take her mind off me....but she hasnt got the time to try and do more with me despite the distance. The feelings at times have got that bad ive stood on the balcony of my 22nd floor apartment and thought it would be so much easier to just go! Now i would never do this, but the thought did enter my head!
Im sorry for unloading, but i think i needed to. I think my relationship is all but over, but because of me and my thoughts and the way i am feeling and im struggling to come to terms with things, that i could be losing so much in order to gain a very good life experience, and im not coping all that well with things. Ive never really felt like this before and i dont like feeling like this either, but i just needed to discuss things.
Many thanks

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 2/20/2011 2:57 AM (GMT -6)   

sorry to hear what your going through zog. do you feel that your depressed? i understand that the non-reciprocation from your partner is hurting you. how long are you in dubai? yeah seems very unfair that she is not being there for you. i wish i had the answer..........but i don't. you have a job to do in dubai, thus maybe having a chat with a doctor there might help. hey, one day at a time okay.....keep trying to find a happy medium with your partner. i feel you both need to talk straight-up. keep strong, with much healing compassion, jamie.

ps, due to medical issues focusing on larger posts is difficult for me, thus if i have missed anything, apologies. and welcome to the forum!!!!!!!!!!!



Post Edited (jamiee) : 2/20/2011 1:13:22 AM (GMT-7)

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 2/20/2011 11:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you think, Zoglug, that she may be doing this in a last ditch effort to get you to come home? Some women are capable of being a little sly in their efforts to get their way.

It may be that it's just that she's young and unable to sustain a lasting relationship without your being close by. It's just difficult to say what the problem is, but you shouldn't spend all your time worrying about it. It would do you good to get out more into the social world where you are. You need to develop friendships there and enjoy some of your spare time.

Look forward to the time when you may be able to return home and see her again; in the meantime, learn all you can about the life in
Dubai; you might find it very interesting and enjoyable.

Maybe not trying to communicate so often would be good for her.
Instead, send a small gift maybe occasionally. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say.

It's Genetic
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