grief about my father

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/27/2011 2:08 AM (GMT -6)   
a mental nausea and panic flows through me when i think of my dad. he past away on monday and today was his funeral. the worst part was watching the cancer turn my dad into someone he wasnt. in the last few days of his life in the hospital the cancer took away his wisdom and knowledge and replaced it with confusion. he became tired and ended up sleeping and waking up angry and disoriented. before cancer hit him he was a smart, funny and witty man. he created beautiful music on the guitar which touched many people. he was so full of love for me my brother and sister and of course, his wife. he taught me so much during that precious time we had together, stuff i will never forget. id do anything for him to come back and make our family whole again and end our shaterring misery and despair.
i dont know how i will make it through this. i know people say that in time it will be better but what do i do until that time comes?

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20113
   Posted 2/27/2011 2:24 AM (GMT -6)   
first my sincere condolences over your loss. remember the good, funny and happy times. time does help, but remember he is forever in your heart. i lost my partner 5 yrs ago, in my arms, still sad at various times, but i too remember the good times. know that we are here for you. with much healing compassion, jamie, male, 38.



getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42208
   Posted 2/27/2011 4:27 AM (GMT -6)   
I lost my first husband to cancer in 2000. It does get better. In time. There is no right or wrong in grieving. Talking to a grief counselor would help you. You need support right now. Remember the good things. Eventually the memories of the disease will go away. Please do seek counsleing to hlep you through this.

My condolences.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/27/2011 10:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Please accept my deepest sympathy at the the death of your Father.  I understand exactly how you feel although I lost my Father the very same way many years ago I still miss him.  When the low times hit and whenever I look at his picture or see his funeral book in my drawer I shed some tears and then I remember what a wonderful Father and grandfather he was. 
Your pain is so new and raw that the best I can say to your right now is I am sorry. 
Please keep talking to us as I know how lonely it feels once the funeral is over and the whole world keeps on moving while you feel so alone.
Gentle Hugs,

Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 2/27/2011 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
I had a wonderful father, also, and your sadness brings back memories for me, too. The only thing I can say is that I remember his wisdom and goodness and know that his was a life that cared for people and for their goodness. Try to remember that above all else
and carry that with you.

Protect the memory that is beautiful; diminish the ravages of time as
something to be regretted but don't let it be devastating to you. Keep
alive the memory of his joy of life.

It's Genetic
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