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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/27/2011 7:30 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm now 17 and most my life I've always been scared of what people think of me and I never feel like I belong or fit in. I'm scared if I fit in then something will happen and I will lose the people close to me. There are times where there is this side to me that comes out thats started to happen a lot lately, it seeks sadistic pleasure and I can not do anything to stop it all I can do is watch it. I barely get sleep and I hear things when I do, the voices are not someone in general, but they scream my name. I'm scared to try new things. I can never make up my mind and I have no idea what I want... Every site I go on I show all symptoms but the one about wanting to end life. I fear I have it which is a big deal to me because I've always wanted to be that person people can look up to and come to when they have problems. I just don't have any idea anymore with any of my thoughts. I've been changing over the last few weeks. Just a lot more paranoid, scared, worried. Sorry if this is blunt... I just want someone else's opinion.

- Kaz

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 2/27/2011 9:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kaz,

Welcome to the depression forum. You may be suffering from depression, but you are also at that age where you are discovering your life. At your age, I had the same problems. I just didn't know who I was. That comes with time sweetie. So be patient with yourself.

People come and go in our lives. Get out there and make friends. Know that some will always be your friend even if in life you don't keep in touch with eachother. I recently contacted a person I haven't seen in thirty years. That makes me pretty old I know. But it was on facebook. She lives far away actually.

You are unsure of things right now. I suggest talking to your school counselor, they are good at helping us sort things out. Let them know how you feel and hopefully they can help you.

We can give you the best advice we can. But we can't diagnose you like a professional. We are just other people with depression. We can share our experiences though.

When I was your age, all I thought about was my boyfriend. I wasn't the best in school, because all I wanted was to graduate and be done with it. But I did go to college for awhile and I am glad that I did. It tought me a lot about life and people. You learn as you live they say. And that is true. I am still working on things. The older i get the smarter i get about life. It takes time to figure it out.

So my best suggestion is to talk to a professional, and figure out if you are depressed or not.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/27/2011 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I am with Karen on this one and she adviced you well.  When I was 17 life was one big drama.  I was crushed when a boyfriend would dump me or a girlfriend get mad at me and always wondered what "I" did wrong ?
I think I was just going through the normal teenage feelings but you do sound like you are dealing with more then normal feelings.
No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who ptick  us off or people who simply do not like us.  That does not mean it is anything we have done. 

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be,....that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down, but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of.

I too feel you should talk with your Dr. regarding how you are feeling.  It makes me sad to see you in pain at such a young age.



Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 2/27/2011 7:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey there,

When i read your post it was amazing how much it sounded like me...I'm going through almost all the same things...depressed, so worried about people judging me everywhere I go and trouble keeping friends because the ones I had in the past I pushed away, or some drama caused us to fall apart. And the strange thing of hearing voices but only when I'm trying to sleep at night...people saying my name or whispering or yelling at me. :/ I also have crazy mood swings, up and down quickly...I'm not sure if you have this symptom as well? I'm 20 years old and have had issues when i was younger all the way til now....Have you tried a counselor? I'm in a tough spot right now and trying to get help asap. If you have depression, bipolar,schizophrenia or maybe something else that's making you so paranoid, you should consider medication. I don't want to be on meds, but i've reached a point of being willing to try anything. See a counselor or find someone you can trust to talk to and see what they need some help and I totally understand how you feel

I hope you feel better and we can both find some help <3

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/27/2011 9:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kaz,

While it's true that a lot of 17 year olds feel depressed as a result of hormonal changes, it is possible that your case is severe and you need professional help. So first off, congratulations to you for identifying your problems and asking for help. I'm 28 and have been feeling depressed since I was about just now starting to talk about it. I'm also a high school teacher, so I know that if you are in high school and your school has a counseling office, you should go visit it right away! Whether you know your counselors or not, whether you like them or not, they will connect you with resources to help you; they have a professional obligation and desire to help you. You might even qualify for free counseling or personal assistance through the school.
Best of luck and keep asking for help!

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/28/2011 4:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I am getting help, I went to the doctors today and had a chat to him and hes putting me through a councilor and no I'm no longer at school. How I am now is the reason why I left, I left halfway through year 11 just. Something got to me and I still don't know what. I want medication to help me just ease up and relax then use that to get out there and look for a job which I have been doing since I left mid last year. One thing that is making this worse is that it is ruining my relationship with my girlfriend... But never the less I'm trying hard to get out there and fix what is wrong.
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