Feeling like I've almost hit rock bottom

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 2/27/2011 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   
My depression and mood swings, constant ups and down, worries and doubts about people judging me, fear of losing the one person closest to me...all of this has just gotten worse and worse. I couldn't sleep again last night, and this was after a long day of activity and panic attacks, so the lack of sleep just put me over the edge today. I went into work and did the best i could (lots of physical activity outside in the heat) but when i finished i talked to my boss...about how I was feeling so sick and that I have terrible anxiety/depression problems..Ive been throwing up alot too, which might be stress/anxiety, I'm not sure and my whole body hurts from this. She was really understanding, which was the one good part of my day...she said she has a daughter who has gone through some of the same issues, really bad depression and tried to commit suicide. I basically left on good terms with her she said I needed help, but that maybe i could come back in the future...thank god for a nice person like her. I'm still feeling so sick and low though, and tried calling another doctor today who didn't answer. Another thing is just recently I was at a party where I feel I was taken advantage of by a guy while I was veryy drunk and pretty much passed out on a couch. I don't even remember the whole night, just know something happened...was touched...but not actual rape at least I really don't think so. But I have a history of being abused and this added to my anxiety alot..I feel now like less of a person, just being used and unable to defend myself. I told my boyfriend I knew something happened to me at the place and he was upset of course...and now it seems he can't look at me the same :/ He always warned me not to get drunk where I don't know alot of people and he's right...I was just desperate and lonely I wanted to go to a party and drink. BAD BAD IDEA cry

Post Edited (hybridmoments) : 2/27/2011 10:44:23 PM (GMT-7)

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/27/2011 8:12 PM (GMT -6)   
First, I'm sorry some bad guy took advantage of you last night. It is NOT YOUR FAULT, no matter how bad a decision you feel you made leading up to it. I don't know if it'll help, but sometimes writing a list of all the good things I've done or the ways in which I don't suck helps give me that little push I need when I feel like I've gone too low...trivial things like 'I sent that email when I said I would' or, in your case 'I was honest with my boss and she was supportive; it took a lot for me to talk to her, but I did it and the result was positive.'

Also, if you're unemployed now, I would recommend a volunteer job. Even just a few hours a week. It can really make you feel that you're doing something good, use up some of those extra anxiety hours, and you can even meet new friends. I volunteer at an animal shelter, and dogs are a good reminder of unconditional love and support.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 2/27/2011 8:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your support..I'm trying to hang on to any good I can :/ That was also a good idea about volunteering, I've been wanting to volunteer at the town animal shelter for a while, I want to check into it...

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20113
   Posted 2/27/2011 10:48 PM (GMT -6)   


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42206
   Posted 2/28/2011 6:14 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry for what happened to you. Try not to go to parties and get so drunk that you pass out. Drinking is negative to depression. It makes it worse.

I like the idea of volunteering at the animal shelter, it could eventually turn into a permanent job. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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