Working on faith

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Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 3/1/2011 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Alright well I had a decent night/day so far.  I got in about 7-8 hours of sleep with no meds and did ok today with avoiding most of my usual mood swings of late.  I keep getting a little concerned about all these ridiculous (only ridiculous because I cant make up my mind of which Idea I want to do) ideas that float through my head.  I constantly think about where I can go in the job I'm in now, how I can move up, how fast I can get there, what I can do right now to achieve it.  Then I think about how I want to buy a waverunner, I want to get a boat, I want this I awnt that, blah blah blah.  All that stuff circles in my head and makes it hard to focus.  Then I think about, wait...what am I doing wanting all this stuff?  I have depression/anxiety issues I shouldnt commit myself to anything like that financially, and maybe shouldn't commit myself to a higher job because of the fear of not being able to handle the stress.
 
I was watching a movie called "Man on Fire" last night with Denzel Washington.  One thing hit home with me while watching that movie, and it's when the young girl gives Denzel a gift.  It was a necklace with a St. Jude charm on it, patron saint of lost causes/hopeless.  In the movie she gave it to him because he was severly depressed.  That thought just is stuck in my head now, not so much that I'm a lost cause, but that I'm someone who is definetly lost.  I don't think it's a life sentence that I'm feeling this way, I just think that right now I'm completely lost and don't know which way to go. 

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/1/2011 5:41:36 PM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 3/1/2011 7:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mike,

I am sorry that I had to edit your post, but we are not allowed to discuss religion on the forum. I feel that would be best talked to your counselor about maybe or a pastor of some sort.

I enjoyed the movie Man on Fire. It was pretty good. I watched it a couple of times as a matter of fact.

Thanks for understanding about the rule.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 3/1/2011 8:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mike,
Due to Forum rules, we're pretty limited on how we can respond to your post. I also want to honor your journey & not share more than what you're seeking. So, for my public response, I just want to encourage you that there truly are people who have OCD and find faith to be a healing & healthy aspect of their lives. Your therapist and/or religious leader(s) should be able to help guide you in managing that.

People become curious about faith and religion at different stages of their lives. It is perfectly "normal" at any age.

If you'd like, you can private message me & I would be happy to continue the conversation & share more specific ideas/info.

peace,
tirzah

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and minds..." Philippians 4:6-7

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 3/2/2011 12:07 AM (GMT -6)   
I would suggest some good books, Mike, such as the life St. Frances
of Assissi. St. Augustine's life are two to get your started.

I.G.

joyseeker
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/3/2011 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Mike,
 
I wanted to suggest you may want to also visit www.depressionforums.org.  I am new to both that forum and this one as well.  While this forum seems very upbeat, positive, and supportive, depression forums is much more detailed and has numerous discussion boards related to all different areas of depresion, one of which deals with religion.  I don't know if it will be of help to you or not but wanted to offer it as a suggestion as well.
 
(Hope this recommendation is allowed.  If not, I'm sure the moderators will modify.  :-) I have no vested interest in this other site other than being a member.)
 
-js

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 3/3/2011 5:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I'd like to be able to private message you with some questions about it because the concerns I have about how I am thinking about becoming more religous are scaring me because I know that's a sign of schizophrenia. I don't know why I read all these symptoms awhile back, I can never forget them. darn my curiousity. I just don't know how to private message anyone though, never did that on here before.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 3/3/2011 5:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know how to either Mike. But if you put your email addresses in your profile, you can email eachother. Just don't post it in the open forum as everybody can see it, even if they are not members.

Check the forum out Mike. I don't think it is against the rules to post it. I didn't see anything about it. But I might have missed something, I usually do.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 3/3/2011 6:22 PM (GMT -6)   
The fact that you are frightened of becoming schizophrenic is a strong indication that you are not likely to become schizophrenic. I have
several acquaintances, by the way, who are paranoid schizophrenic,
and they are highly intelligent and good people. Medications now are
very effective in managing an illness that can be controlled just as
many bipolar patients are controlled in illness, or depressives or
unipolars or hysterical folks, or any one of a dozen other illnesses.
Bill on bipolar forum says it best in his signature: (something to this effect) "I'm not responsible for what I was born with; I am responsible for how I manage it and remain responsible and good." That's not it exactly, but that's the gist of his view, and I think it's extraordinarily sane and intelligent.

Be more afraid of not doing something about your symptoms, Mike.
Seeing your psychiatrist is the best thing in this world that you can do
and try to follow his instructions.

Good wishes and good health, Mike. Keep everyone informed; each one regards your efforts as important and a real learning process. I wish many who are without educations would try to learn more and find generosity in their hearts.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 3/3/2011 4:34:59 PM (GMT-7)


Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 3/3/2011 7:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, I know it's an illogical fear of mine to think that I'm schizo but the thought crosses my mind like 3-4 times a day that I could be. Especially when I'm starting to get into reading religious books and such. It's something that I never really used to do and can't really know for sure if I'm doing it to try and find peace/comfort or if I'm doing it because im slowly losing my mind lol

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 3/3/2011 9:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, I don't think reading books should cause you to ever fear losing your mind. I would be more inclined to think that never reading a book might be risky for sanity.

There are so many references by everyone on the forum to read that
it reveals that many find reading a great outlet for tension relief.

I.G.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 3/3/2011 10:08 PM (GMT -6)   
i use to be scared of being well. i only new being unwell. but with continued effort the future is looking more brighter. jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 3/4/2011 12:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, it certainly does look very bright for you, Jamiee.

Love,

I.G.

livenlaugh
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 387
   Posted 3/4/2011 7:24 AM (GMT -6)   
First of all...I really enjoyed that movie. Second...Movies and songs seem to get me to think about my life and where it is taking me. Yes I am also lost but I have my therapist to help me on that one. I had these unrealistic thoughts about who I was or to say it more correctly I associated myself with my job and not myself if that makes sense. I am a special education teacher and when I stopped teaching, I did not know who I was. When I stopped teaching, I did not know who I was. I am a foster parent. We do not have any foster kids right now so I lost that identity. Who am I??? I am finding myself now. Who I am and reconnecting with things that I like to do. And finding my faith and what I believe in. I don't know if that makes sense.
Hope that helps.
Take care,
Lisa

joyseeker
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 3/4/2011 9:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Mike,
 
I don't know if you were refering to me when you talked about instant messaging someone.  I don't know how to do that either since I'm new to the forum.  However, I would suggest you just check out the other forum.  You can register and then just hang out for awhile and see what you think.  From what I've seen of the religion and depression forum, it is geared towards people who are trying to find the right spiritual path for themselves.  Perhaps it would be of help.  Also, there are other forums on that site for different medications and other mental health disorders.  Maybe those would provide some additional info as well.  As I said, I'm new to both forums so I'm just finding my way around both.  But information is always good in my opinion.
 
Hang in there - you have a lot of support here, and I  wish only the best for you!
 
-js

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 3/7/2011 7:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Mike,
Sorry I haven't been around for a while. There are ways to private message during an open chat session if both users are logged in at the same time.
Separate from that, my email is in my profile & you are welcome to email me there. Healing Well allows users to set up free email accounts so you don't have to use your regular email address (click on the word "Email" in the grey bar at the top of this page).
My email is in my profile; just click on my user name to the left of this post. I took a bad fall the other day & am not checking in every day, but I'm happy to respond to you within a few days if you'd like to send me an email.

take care,
Tirzah
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