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saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I need help. My partner is 7 weeks pregnant and suffered from depression
prior to becoming pregnant. Her family has abandoned her she is bringing
another child into homosexual lifestyle. She up and left with het 5 year old
daughter sun night. She said she is unhappy with everything in general.
I need help. She went to a hotel. I text her to see how she is doing I get a
reply but she doesn't ask about me. She has been severely emotion and dpressed
for the past 3 weeks.
 
I gave your thread a title so that people would notice it.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/3/2011 11:28:03 AM (GMT-7)


saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:10 PM (GMT -6)   
We had a commitment ceremony dec 18 2010. Our baby
Is due in oct. She says she is the only one that can make her life
Decisions. She says there is nobody else in the picture. She said I can't
get you to understand. Im not gonna make anymore irrational spur
Of the moment life choices. We are supposed to talk sat.

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I need help my partner is pregnant and suffers from depression

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/3/2011 1:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Saltlife,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. Can you get your partner to talk to a counselor? That is the best thing that you could do for her. You can't make her do it, but you could try to persuade her to go. Does she realize she is depressed? Or is she in denial about it? It is hard to watch somebody that you care about suffer with depression.

Know that we are here to support you and do care about what is going on in your life. Keep positive. Spread the positive energy. Try to talk her into going into counseling. I am sorry about your situation.

She is right about not wanting to make any spur of the moment life choices. Take this one day at a time. Give her space, but let her know that you are there for her.

I hope that things get better. It sounds like you need some support too. So counseling would help you also.

Best wishes, Keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/3/2011 2:21 PM (GMT -6)   
She has been seeing a therapist since last easter. We got together in nov of 2009.
she left jul third 2010 then she took time to find herself. She said she
did and realized she made a mistake in leaving and not even telling me until
She was gone. When things get tough its like flight or fight. She flies.
her previous partner she married in 04 left her before their child
was born. She has a fear im gonna leave. I feel she will leave again for good.
I started seeing a therapist after she left last july.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/3/2011 3:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I am glad that you both are seeing a therapist. That is great. It sounds like she is flighty and that is hard to deal with. You need more stability in your life. Will she sit down and talk about things face to face? I think that is what you need. Total honesty. What about couples counseling? Have you tried that yet? Let us know.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/3/2011 5:13 PM (GMT -6)   
She texted me ties and said her and Lilly her daughter would
Be out of the hotel sat and we would talk. about 30 mind ago I texted and
asked how they were doing she said ok but I don't wanna talk sorry. I said ok im here if
U decide have a good night. She replied ty. I said Uvw.

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/4/2011 12:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Last night on my way home I passed the hotel that my
partner has been at since sunday. To my surprise I saw
her exes car parked beside her. I texted her and told her
I saw it. I also said what the hell. She responded that they
were just talking and there was no what the he'll about it. She
sent another text and said give me my time besides Kim
Is dating someone and that doesn't concern me with
what im having to deal with. I sent her a email last night
Expressing love for her and my commitment was for life.
this morning I texted her and asked were we gonna talk tomorrow
Are we on the same page about this subject. Her reply was yes.
she relied to my email and said ty we will talk tomorrow.
im so lost I don't know what's gonna happen I honestly feel
like she is gonna leave im trying to be strong I haven't eaten
Since sunday night and since have only slept a few hours

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/4/2011 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Lauren was contacted via text by her ex 3 weeks ago
Her ex asked was she still an ass. Lauren said have u done
anything to chance that her ex said we r not on the same page
Lauren said u have come into my life and my daughters life fir the las
time. I don't understand why she would confide in a ex and not u partner
therapist or close friend. I saw her ex at the hotel at 6:30 I drove
back there at 10:45 and the ex was gone. I don't understand

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/4/2011 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you are pretty worked up with this situation. I would suggest that you give her space and trust her. And when you see her to talk, suggest couples counseling. It sounds like you two really aren't communicating that well.

I hope that things work out for the best. That might not always be what we expect it to be. My main interest is that your relationship is stable for the children involved.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/4/2011 5:03 PM (GMT -6)   
I try to talk but when she is like this she shuts down.
we are meeting at our house to talk at 10 am. She is taking
her daughter lilly to drop in chilcare so we can talk and
She's not in it. Lauren days she wants to talk like mature
Adults

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/4/2011 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   
That is great. I am glad that you two are going to talk. Be honest, and open. And make sure to listen to what she has to say. I would really suggest the couples counseling. I am sure that she feels overwhelmed at this time. Especially being pregnant. That must be difficult. For both of you.

Take care and let us know how things go.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/4/2011 9:16 PM (GMT -6)   
It's been difficult for the past 3 weeks. I fear she may leave again
To be by herself. I've also read that people with depression sometimes don't want to be with anybody or be around. Im trying to be optimistic about tomorrow. In concerned about her well. I feel she needs to get on a good medication and she needs to see her therapist every week. Im trying not to think about it being a ending. She's my wife for life. I took my vows seriously.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/4/2011 9:37 PM (GMT -6)   
She sounds like the type of person that likes privacy and a lot of space. I am kind of that way too. I do my own thing. I live my own life. My husband does too, but he has friends and stuff. We kind of meet in the middle when we can. But I like my alone time and would go crazy without it. But I still love my husband dearly and enjoy the discussions that we have and all that. So don't take it personally. This is just the way that she is. And I doubt that is going to change anytime son, so I would suggest you get use to the idea and determine whether or not you can handle that. And she might change later on one day.

I wish you the best.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/5/2011 3:16 PM (GMT -6)   
We had our talk today. The first thing she told me was that she went to the doctor Thursday and there was no heartbeat for the baby. I noticed she had her rings off. I knew in my heart when she left sunday she was ending our commitment. She talked moreand told me she made a mistake about making a commitment and having a baby. She wad sorry she drug me through this mess of her life. I would never understand what depression was like. I could talk to all the therapist I wanted too and read all the books I wanted. She said she doesn't want to be around anybody she wanted to just be around Lilly. The only thing that made her happy was sleeping. I asked her to go to couples therapy. She said we are over. She said I need to take care of myself. She said she woud have her and lillys things out in two weeks. She is going to be ib the hotel another eek. She doesn't have money left after that to be moved or find a place to move. She said she doesn't have the energy to move.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/5/2011 4:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry about about her decision. I guess she has her reasons that only the two of you understand. Now you have to get on with your life so you don't end up in the slump of depression.

I am sure that you are hurting inside right now. And I don't know the words to make you feel better. Just know that we are here for support. We want you to be happy. I am sure that you are going to have a little down time as you adjust to this. You can't worry about where she is going to go from here. She is on her own now.

I don't know what to think about them not hearing the baby's heartbeat. Do you believe this to be true? I forgot how far she was along. Would she lie about something like that? If it is true, she must be very sad.

Stay with us now. Make sure to see your counselor. Know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
 
I just reread your first post about how far along she is in the pregnancy.  You said she was seven weeks pregnant.  I don't believe you would hear a heartbeat at that early of a stage.  So I don't know what she is talking about.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 3/5/2011 2:41:54 PM (GMT-7)


saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/5/2011 4:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Today made 9 weeks of pregnancy. The funny thing that's hard to swollow is that Thursday she went to the doctor to be checked and that night her exes car was at the hotel she is at parked beside hers. She said they were just talking.

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/5/2011 5:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope she would be honest and tell the truth. Its hard when someone leaves to take space then comes back and leaves with no prior warning or nothing.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 3/5/2011 7:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I know that this is hard. But you need to accept it for what it is and work on getting you feeling better. She seems to plan on getting on with her life and you should do the same. See your counselor and get started living without her. Things will work out the way that they are suppose to.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

saltlife
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/5/2011 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
She is not gonna let me see lilly who I have helped her raise. She texted me earlier and said acre she leaves the hotel she is not going to have enough money to leave and she doesn't know where she is going to move to. She said the depression has killed her energy she doesn't have energy to pack anyway.
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