Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. You will find unjudgmental support here. Just make sure that you have gone over the forum rules as you said some of it is controversial. We all participate with giving and receiving advise here. There is a chat room that you can go to if you want faster conversation. But feel free to talk here if you would like. People don't always get back to you right away, especially on the weekends. But they do get back to you with kind and caring suggestions.
The one thing that I would like to ask is if you are going to any form of counseling? It sounds like you need the support and help. Do try to hook up with a professional. We can only offer advice and tell our experiences, but we don't have all the answers for you.
I sure do hope that you feel better soon.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies