Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.
By the sound of it, you have to peel away layers and learn to trust. Maybe you should have a different choice of friends to find somebody that is trustworthy, or is it mostly family that you can't trust?
Drinking makes us more depressed. So that might be something that you should work on. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I would get in touch with a counselor to get the ball rolling. You have a lot of work by the sound of it, but know that you can be healthy and happy.
We are here for the duration, so know that you can always come to this site to get support. I wish you the best. Keep trying, you have taken a huge step just by posting here. It is the first step of your healing journey. Keep posting, let us know how you are doing. Take care...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies