is there anyone who can suggest me anything to do to get over my problems?

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/7/2011 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm new here, on this site and registered just to know if someone can help me.

I'm a 25 year-old male uni. student from Turkey and this is my last semester here, then I'll be a teacher but I have a problem that makes my life miserable every day. (by the way I don't know, if I opened the issue on the right section...) I have been getting psychiatric help for about 10 years now for major depression. it started when I was rejected in a cruel way by a girl whom I loved rather platonically, I was about 15 at that time and every single day from then on became so meaningless and vain, as you may guess. for about two years I didn't leave home or see anybody, didn't talk and eat very little but smoked about 50 cigarettas everyday. those times were so devastatting for me but it has been 3 years now that I partially recovered from my depression with the help of my doctors ( I see 9-10 till now- I lost the exact number) and of course my parents. I want to live my life now and want to enjoy my remaining years with people that care about me. I'm trying to socialize, have new friends, join in new groups, ridicule with myself to lower my inhibitions but there is still a huge problem, that is, I show panic symptoms whenever I go into a class, a cafee, or just on the bus to school. I tried to get over it by facing situations which are hard for me to bear but it is not even getting any softer. In fact, the problem is 'chronic diarrhea' caused by stress and 'overactive bladder syndrome'. these are shamefull for me to utter at this age but it is true. I used medications and tried some therapy but the result is nothing for now. my last doctor advised me to stay in places, like classroom, when I felt these symptoms and according to him my anxiety would decrease with time but it did not. I'm scratching my legs and arms to bear them when I'm with other people. I think I've lost faith in people and think they will eventually ridicule with me for anything they see weird. I know this idea itself is ridicules but I can't avoid it. I'm really bored of this every day. Tomorrow, I will go for a lecture and now I afraid that I may run out of the classroom while 200 people watching me. Tonight, I joined in lesson in a private institution but I could bear just 40 minutes and returned home immediately.

I'm losing my hope... and I tried eveything that is worth trying... what will I do? please tell me something. I'm repeating my problem: stress-bound chronic diarrhae and overactive bladder... if I manage to get over them, I can do anything... please tell me something, my         thoughts returning to me because I can't find any solution and this is so an embarrassing situation for me that I can't describe...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/8/2011 5:56:05 AM (GMT-7)

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 3/7/2011 6:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Im sure a lot of ppl say this, but i really understand what you're going through. I feel like everyone in the world sucks and you can't trust anyone but yourself.
I can't stress enough how optimal therapy is. Sure, it may not be totally number 1 choice for some people but I know so many people including myself who have seen brighter days because of it. Are you currently on meds for your depression? PLEASE dont let it get the best of you.

I really do not want to see yourself harmed or hurt in any way and I encourage you to discuss more options with your doctor. I wish I could tell you more but the rest is all medical, and I;m not a doctor. Just know that you're not the only person whos gone through this and i hope you find the help that will heal you..

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 3/7/2011 9:08 PM (GMT -6)   
therapy is really helping me. it will you as well. keep talking with your doc androjen. we understand. with compassion, jamie.


New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/8/2011 1:46 AM (GMT -6)   
thnx for your replies but I used so many meds, get much terapy, it does not work on me. I will ask my doc. to give me electricity, I heard it helps erase unpleasant memories. a radical treatment but this is my last chance or I will have nothing to do. I don't want to sit another 2-3 years at home.

thnx again. now I will go to school and try to join a lesson, I hope everything goes well...

actually I have another thing to discuss with you. as I mentioned my problem is because of a girl that I liked and of course it means sexual supression is number one cause of my depression. some of my friends told me that if I have an intercourse with a **********, I may manage to materialize women and thus get rid of my problem. I don't want this because my soul is pitch black right now and I don't want it to become even darker. I don't want to feel like a cheap bustard. I don't know anything right now, but if it helps I will try it too... I can't bear another refusal so I have no courage to try a real relationship.

anyway thnx for your support, Jamiee and Taryn...

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 3/8/2011 4:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Androjen, I may have a few insights that could be of some help. Firstly I'd like to comment on your being uncomfortable with relationships, and even the thought of looking for one. These things are understandable, and something that many people go through, but to perhaps a lesser extent than what you experience. I would suggest that you not worry about seeking out a relationship as such. I have found, a number of times, that if you are thinking in that fashion you do not find what you're looking for. Let it happen as it will, then when something does come don't have the issue and fear of refusal, because it will be a naturally occurring and reciprocated situation ;). Lol and I think you are wise for NOT listening to your friends, take the high road my friend :)

As far as a suggestion to help you cope with being in social situations and groups...this is just an idea, but I believe it is one that will help quite a bit. Lets say you are sitting in a class of 200 people, you feel if perhaps people are looking at you, noticing your discomfort, ect.... Well the thing is Androjen, almost EVERYONE in that room of 200 people is feeling a similar sensation. When you realize that the people surrounding you aren't criticizing or evaluating you...because they are most likely worried about the exact same thing, it kinda lets things come into focus a bit. It not only can reduce the feelings of anxiety, but even go so far as to bolster some true confidence. You do not need to worry about what other people think anymore, because you have come to the realization that they are probably more freaked out than you. Just remember that you have no real reasons to be feeling situational stresses by realizing the actual truth of the situation. Lol that all might be seen as a ramble, it kinda does to me, but I hope that in some way these things are able to help you out. Aaand you can always come here to work things out :)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 3/8/2011 8:01 AM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you are suffering from a great deal of anxiety. Have you tried deep breathing to get the anxiety down? It sounds like social anxiety to me.

What was posted above is right, we are all in the same boat and are just as nervous as you are. I am talking about walking in to a room full of people. Everybody gets the anxiety, some just handle it better than others and it doesn' show. Or people just hide it and all feel the same way. Everybody feels like they are being stared at. So you are definately not alone. If you have to leave class, so be it, just don't give up on going.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting, this is a good place to come for support.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

panther fern
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 3/8/2011 5:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry you are having anxiety. Your anxiety is showing in physical ways with the bowel and other problems. I understand the feeling of fight or flight, the get me out of here feeling. make sure you are not having ulcerative colitis with your bowels. Talk to your mental health and your medical dr about all of your symptoms, physical and mental.

I hope you can get the medical care you need. remember "baby steps" you don't have to do everything at once socially. just baby steps a little at a time is ok. mentally prepare yourself, deep breathing, listen to relaxing music before sleep, get good restful sleep, find away to let the past stay in the past. I find that journaling is helpful..

it is amazing how much of the past can affect our present. You are allowed to live in the present. You are allowed to say that part of my past was awful and tough but i am now going to put it in this box and file it in the past and leave it there. take the good from it and leave the pain. it doesn't feel like we have control and in many things we don't but we can forgive, not forget, but thats ok because we learn from it.

I wish you freedom from your suffering, I wish you happiness and i have Hope for your future that it will be bright and inspiring and that your soul will be content.

may tomorrow have joy
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