I'm new here, on this site and registered just to know if someone can help me.
I'm a 25 year-old male uni. student from Turkey and this is my last semester here, then I'll be a teacher but I have a problem that makes my life miserable every day. (by the way I don't know, if I
opened the issue on the right section...) I have been getting psychiatric help for about
10 years now for major depression. it started when I was rejected in a cruel way by a girl whom I loved rather platonically, I was about
15 at that time and every single day from then on became so meaningless and vain, as you may guess. for about
two years I didn't leave home or see anybody, didn't talk and eat very little but smoked about
50 cigarettas everyday. those times were so devastatting for me but it has been 3 years now that I partially recovered from my depression with the help of my doctors ( I see 9-10 till now- I lost the exact number) and of course my parents. I want to live my life now and want to enjoy my remaining years with people that care about
me. I'm trying to socialize, have new friends, join in new groups, ridicule with myself to lower my inhibitions but there is still a huge problem, that is, I show panic symptoms whenever I go into a class, a cafee, or just on the bus to school. I tried to get over it by facing situations which are hard for me to bear but it is not even getting any softer. In fact, the problem is 'chronic diarrhea' caused by stress and 'overactive bladder syndrome'. these are shamefull for me to utter at this age but it is true. I used medications and tried some therapy but the result is nothing for now. my last doctor advised me to stay in places, like classroom, when I felt these symptoms and according to him my anxiety would decrease with time but it did not. I'm scratching my legs and arms to bear them when I'm with other people. I think I've lost faith in people and think they will eventually ridicule with me for anything they see weird. I know this idea itself is ridicules but I can't avoid it. I'm really bored of this every day. Tomorrow, I will go for a lecture and now I afraid that I may run out of the classroom while 200 people watching me. Tonight, I joined in lesson in a private institution but I could bear just 40 minutes and returned home immediately.
I'm losing my hope... and I tried eveything that is worth trying... what will I do? please tell me something. I'm repeating my problem: stress-bound chronic diarrhae and overactive bladder... if I manage to get over them, I can do anything... please tell me something, my thoughts returning to me because I can't find any solution and this is so an embarrassing situation for me that I can't describe...
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/8/2011 5:56:05 AM (GMT-7)