family problems and everything much anxiety and upset

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 3/9/2011 12:47 AM (GMT -6)   
My parents have always been emotionally distant, extremely so for most of my childhood and especially in my adolescence...I've never had a close relationship with my mom or dad. Mom is around alot more than my dad but we don't talk about anything important or emotional. It seems like the times i've tried to talk to her she either just ignores me or when I try to tell her about how bad i feel both my parents just act like I'm complaining for nothing and tell me to shut up or get over it. No one shares emotions or good times in this house, it's dead and it sucks the joy out of life to be here so much. So that has made me feel even less comfortable around them emotionally. Lately I've been so depressed and moody and anxious.. I've lost my job over it am trying to get help-going to doctors, calling psychiatrists, all with minimal results :/
Today i was getting really frustrated trying to talk about how i was feeling to my mom and all she could say was stuff about making "plans for the future" and I lost it, started yelling at both of them about how they have issues about dealing with emotions. I was in a rage and said alot of mean things out of frustration :( it is true that they have some deep seated emotional issues that they are in denial about. Their philosophy is just to not think about the bad things and "just keep on trying to survive" when in reality it's just repressing emotions to the point of oblivion. But they don't see my side of it. Maybe they really have become numb to emotions to the point where they're ok with things lke this. But I'm not like that, I have to express the way I feel, even if it's negative :( How else am I going to get through this? I need a counselor. I don't want to feel this way, and I didn't want to explode at them. I just have no one in person who knows what I'm going through...on the edge, considering        every night. I survive by taking xanax at night (i just ran out though) and now I have a prescription for Klonopin, which im taking alot of just to get me to sleep. I'm lost, at the end of a rope :( my family environment has never been good and now things with my boyfriend, the only person close to me are very rocky...i dont know where to turn

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/9/2011 6:01:43 AM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 3/9/2011 8:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Some people just don't talk about their emotions. And your family seems to be that way. I don't talk about them a lot. I just keep moving forward. Sometimes it is good to get things out in the open, and sometimes things are better left unsaid. I think you are right about needing counseling. That is who you let things out to. They are there to listen and give you some advice. I don't talk much about my emotions as it is easier for me that way. I let things roll off my back and move on. You can learn to do this too. But there are times we need to talk, so coming here and going to counseling is your best bet. We are here to listen and try to give advice or share in some of our experiences. Some things are worth thinking about and others you find yourself dwelling on and it gets you nowhere. So do seek a counselor. I think you are on the right path there. Keep us posted on how things are going.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 3/9/2011 3:36 PM (GMT -6)   
I try to leave things alone as much as possible..I usually never cause a scene..I just can't stand being ignored when I'm in pain..I would hope that as a mother if I see my chlid alone and crying with a serious mental illness I won't just tell them to shut up or walk away from them :( But I do regret yelling at them because it didn't get me anywhere. I just want to get out of here and have a counselor to talk to. Thank you for the suggestions and support <3
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