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FakeSmiles
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/9/2011 7:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry, but I'm not really sure what to put for the subject. I didn't want to feel like I put something dumb for the subject.

Hi, I'm new. I'm just seeing if these site is really helpful. Hopefully I posted this right, if not I apologize.

I don't know why... I'm posting.... but I guess here it goes.

I used to be abused throughout my childhood, but I still had love from my dad's side of the family. I was first abused by my dad, my mom didn't do anything to stop it but laugh. Until I called the cops on him once, he stopped, now he is nice. Then my mom started to abuse me, whenever she was angry. Every time she got mad and hit me, I'd go to my aunts house. The house I loved going to, they loved me and were there for me. Now that's changed, ever since I talked to my counselor and told her about my mom she reported it to the child services. My mom tells lies to my aunt, and now my aunt doesn't love me anymore. She doesn't even talk to me like before, she used to hug me all the time she saw me. Now, when she sees me she just stares. My mom's side of the family thinks bad of me too because she tells lies. One of my aunts were telling me why did I report my mom? I'm causing more trouble now, it's just discipline. I know it's not because she'd hit me until I was bruised, I never did anything really bad. Even though she still hit me I still kept a smile on my face in front of everyone and laughed. Now she doesn't abuse me, but still verbal abuse, it hurts more than her hitting me. I've taken all her words for years, but now every time she says something, my heart can't take it anymore. She tells me why should have I been born? I should have died. Hearing that from my own mom really hurts, even though I never cry when she tells me harsh words, I keep them in. I keep my feelings in, I just wish I had someone to talk to when I'm down, I'm just scared someone will be annoyed if I talk to them. I just keep it to myself, I don't want someone telling me, "tell it to someone who cares." I use to have this teacher to talk to, but now I've left that school and she moved to a different school. I just don't have anyone to talk to. Even though I have little sister who I'm close with, I just don't want to tell her what I feel. I want her to see me as a happy person to see.

After I reported her and court was still going on, I stopped talking to my aunt and the family, I don't know why but I just don't go to school anymore. My life is just horrible, I'm not finishing high school which I regret, now I'm getting my GED, but I just don't have confident in anything. I feel like I'm going to fail at everything. I feel like I'm such a horrible person. I once thought        because it'd just end my heartache of being such a waste in life. I still sometimes think it, and wonder who would care if I just went away for good? I think no one will care, my parents don't evenr talk to me or ask me how am I feeling or am I okay? I'm jealous of people who are close to their parents. I've never head my parents told me that they loved me... or anyone.
I don't talk to anyone anymore, I use to be happy, laughing, smiling, talking, and play little pranks on people. I loved making people happy, even though myself wasn't happy. I thought about posting here because I'm not sure why, but I don't know... Just giving this a try.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/9/2011 6:24:11 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 3/9/2011 8:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sweetie,

I had to take one word out of your post as we aren't to discuss that here. But I am so sorry for how your mom is treating you. coming here to share will help you. But are you still seeing your counselor? I really think that support would be good for you.

I am sorry that your mom and dad abused you and that you had to call the police to get help. I am sorry about the repercussions of that too. It sounds like your family has truly turned on you and that isn't right. Is there any way that you could have a talk with your aunt and explain what happened? It sounds like you were really close at one time.

I hope that things work out for you. How old are you? Will you be leaving home soon? Do you have a job? I would think about getting a job and moving out of the situation that you are in. You are going to have to do that sooner or later. I am sorry that you didn't finish school, but a ged is good too. Are you thinking about college? Let me know

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and know that we all care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

FakeSmiles
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/9/2011 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry, I didn't know. No, I'm not seeing the counselor anymore because I felt like she didn't even care after the whole thing because I felt like she was annoyed of me going there and talking to her. When I showed her my bruise of when my mom hit me she just stared and didn't look like she even cared at all.

Yeah, they don't even talk to me at all. She probably won't believe me anyways... She has grandchildren now and so she pays attention to them more. We were really close, she was like a real mom to me. She actually cared about me when I was in a bad mood or when my mom was abusing me she was always there for me.

I'm 17, I wish I can leave home soon, but that's probably not until awhile. At the moment I don't have a job. I want to focus on getting my GED first. Yes, I want to go to college after I get my GED I want to become a language interpreter.

Thanks for replying. :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 3/9/2011 10:10 AM (GMT -6)   
An interpreter sounds good. Interesting choice. It is cool to know many languages. I am happy for you that you know what you want. It isn't hard to get your ged. I am sure you will do fine.

I am sorry that you feel dumped upon. I am sure that it hurts. Feeling abandoned is no fun. I hope that things turn around for you soon. Keep posting and know that we care about you here.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

prettyinpink
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/10/2011 11:01 AM (GMT -6)   
hello, let me say that i was in a very similar situation and these people in your life are apparently truly unhappy with theirs, therefore are lashing out and sharing their misery. I read that you are 17? Im not sure what state you live in but most states it is legal to move out at 17 and if I were you I would. However its not something you can do over night and it needs to be planned so you do not end up waitressing for the rest of your life with no education. Whatever your state help is called, Michigan is the department of human services, go there and fill out their application let them know you are being abused and it is an emergency situation. They have programs that could help such as making you a ward of the state until you are 21, meaning the state is your guardian. You can not do drugs, you have to comply with all of their orders such as going to school, holding a job, not getting into trouble with the police. They can help you with living arrangements, a vehicle when you turn 18, bus passes before that so you can get to school and work, food stamps, medical and other options. I'm not telling you to live off the system for the rest of your life but they developed it to help people in need. Help yourself and then become something great. If you let these people knock you down then they have won. You seem like a very bright, sweet, and sincere person which is wonderful, but the world is not kind. Life is full of obstacles and not to sound clique but life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of what you do about it. NO ONE deserves to be abused EVER but do not keep anger in your heart instead take it and feel sorry that they will never love or be happy like you will be. You were born into your family and you can not change that, but you can make your own family as i have and i am a lot happier for it. i wish you the best of luck.
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