A minute of your time

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jbrady4
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/11/2011 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello,

First off, I feel kind of selfish for crying about my problem after reading some of the other posts, but I am at a loss for how I feel and desperately need advice.

First off, I have kidney failure. I was diagnosed at 16, went on dialysis then had a transplant at 17. I have been on hemo dialysis for the last 5 years now. One of my dialysis techs recently went through a seperation a year and a half ago, during the time she contacted me asking me if I wanted company... Obviously she wanted sex. She is not allowed to date her patients, and we knew this. It was just suppose to be two lonely people having one night of fun. It did not turn out that way.

She started contacting me more frequently through txt and phone calls, and we started spending time together, but never out in public for she was afraid of us getting caught and her losing her job. She eventually said that she was developing feelings for me, and then in time she said that she loved me. So, we have had this relationship a secret from her coworkers, and only ever going out in public together when we went out of town to see her family. It was rough on both of us, but when you love somebody you are willing to suffer through some things with the hopes of it getting better.

She has been acting differently and I knew that something was up. I found out that she cheated on me 6 months ago, and possibly prior to that. I have been hurt before and I told her before we even started dating, that if she was ever unhappy and felt like she was going to cheat, then please spare my heart and just end it. She said that she would never hurt me like that. Lied.

Anyhow, she broke up with me through the phone 2 weeks ago, and found out through a coworker of hers that she is already seeing somebody. I helped buy her children school cloths, Christmas presents when the deadbeat father wouldn't support his own children, got her car fixed even though mine is calling apart, flowers every 2 weeks and rubbed her head to put her to sleep for a year and a half! She acts as if this is all no big deal, and it is bothering me! I am not sure if I should be the better person and just let it go, or get her fired for taking advantage of me! I always give my all in a relationship, just to get shat on. I am so lost on this world! I always give everybody what they want, everybody comes to me when they have a problem, but I never have anybody to go to... I feel so alone.

jbrady4
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/11/2011 7:33 AM (GMT -6)   
One more detail, it has me so upset that I have not been to dialysis in a week. I hate how somebody who says they love you can hurt you so much.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 3/11/2011 7:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

Welcome to the Depression forum. In your situation, I know you are hurt. But I think that the best thing is to let it go. Don't get her fired. Be the bigger person here and be proud of who you are. You may have done a lot for her, but you did it because you wanted to. Don't measure things in that way. Just chalk it up to experience. Keep the fond memories and forget the rest. I know it is easier said than done, but two wrongs don't make a right. That is just my opinion.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

jbrady4
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/11/2011 7:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I just don't feel as if there is a reason for being alive any longer, like my hope for meeting any decent person is lost... with the exception for those online, but not where I live it would seem.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 3/11/2011 8:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Things will get better. Don't give up now. You will meet somebody special and honest one day. That takes time. Relationships take time to build. Just because you ran up on one not so good person, doesn't mean everybody is like that. Have faith in that.

Take care, Keep on trying.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 3/11/2011 8:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Please make sure you get to dialysis, a person like that is not worth you hurting yourself over. Can you go to a different dialysis center? Is there anyone you can talk to about what you are feeling right now? It will probably feel good to get it out, and it will take some time to get over something like this, it will take a while for you to trust someone again but there are good people out there, don't let a bad one spoil it for everyone. Keep your head up!
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 3/11/2011 10:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Please get your dialysis and take care of yourself and please know that almost everyone has had a hurtful, been lied to, cheated on relationship.  Not everyone is like that.  You will meet someone good, just try to enjoy your life and usually the best love relationships happen when you are not even looking for one.
 
Chin up, you will be OK.
 
Gem

jbrady4
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/11/2011 8:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for all the comments. I do appreciate your time. I have talked to my room mates a little about how I feel, and it did help. I still feel the loneliness and it is difficult to adjust to being alone, but I will see about getting medicated. I did not go to dialysis today, but I will try and make it there Monday. Again, thank you all.
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