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Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 3/18/2011 12:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Kitt,
 
I hope things are a little brighter today.  It had to lift your heart just to see the outpour from this forum.
 
Just wanted to pop in and see if today found you feeling a bit better.
 
Gem

Luv2Chas
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/18/2011 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I am new to this site, just lost my husband 1 month ago. I am feeling so depressed and lonely that it is hard to take. I read some of the older posts because I found the site by accident. It seems we are the only ones who really understand how it feels. Talking to "strangers" is weird, but it also comforting. At times, I just want to curl up and die and give up. The pain is so bad, but I know this is still so new. I was married 34 years and it all happened so quickly and was not expected. I think about all the things I would allow to annoy me and now would give my right arm just be annoyed and see in the bed at night and in the morning.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 3/18/2011 3:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Luv2Chas,

Welcome to the depression forum. I really should move this post to your own thread. You would get more responses, but this is a pretty popular thread right now and I guess enough will be reading it. It is slow on the weekends but it picks up during the week.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first husband in October of 2000. We had been together for 23 years. It is hard. But I survived and so will you. Are you involved in any grief counseling? I would highly recommend that or some type of counseling to help guide you through this. It really does help to have somebody to talk to. Coming here will help you also. We have many kind and compassionate members on this forum.

Do you feel up to getting involved in some kind of volunteering to keep you busy and get you out? Some type of project or something that you like to do by yourself or with friends? Try to keep busy. It keeps your mind off of things. But accept the grief gracefully for it is a part of the progress. Hold onto fond memories too. And remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Also no set time limit.

I may still move your post to your own thread, of if you would like to start one of your own, all you do is click on 'post reply' or use 'quick reply'. That is if you want to. For right now, I just want you to see this. I want you to know that you are so welcome here and that we really do care about you.

Have a wonderful evening.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Luv2Chas
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/18/2011 4:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I apologize to the goup supporting Kitt,  I read some old post and thought I could post about the loss of my husband here. Not sure how this works.
 
Luv2Chas

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/18/2011 5:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Gem,
 
Thank you so much for checking in with me.  I do feel so much better and knowing I do not have any long term deficits is really a positive.  It also reminds me how I have to walk through my depression and deal with the not so good days. 
 
Wednesday my daughter talk with me re my diet and went to the store to pick up healthy foods as I am truly a junk-aholic.  I am also using my treadmill, slowly up to 17 minutes per day. 
 
Somewhere along the road I had decided I was old so why keep trying but I believe this was a wake up call so with all of the support from each of you I will give 100% to living my life to the best I can.
 
Human life is purely a matter of deciding what's important to you.  ~Anonymous

Each of you is important to me.  :-)

Love and hugs,

Kitt


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 3/19/2011 6:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Kitt,

You sound more positive, that is good. You and my new lavendar plant are blooming! I know you were overwhelmed with advice, just make small changes everyday and it will not seem to harsh. Junk food? Sometime sI crave a Coke and the good Lord above knows I love doughnuts. But as I have replaced junk food with whole food, it almost makes me sick to eat something with alot of sugar now. It is a work in progress. You are never too old to look your best and feel your best. Successful life changes can be made at any age. I am almost 53, I run or walk 2 or 3 miles a day and I feel and think I look better than I ever have. I quit coloring my hair because the dye was drying my scalp out horribly, the gray is kind of streaky and hip looking and so much healthier than my processed hair. My husband loves it. The more natural I get with my appearance and health, really the better I look. Good work on the threadmill, just keep it up, consistancy is the key. I bet in 3 months you will be surprized at how much different you look and feel.

Luv2Chas,

No need to apologize, jump on in. I am sorry for your loss, I am sure after all those years it is difficult. Someone once told me that the thing that drives you the craziest about your spouse, is the thing you miss the most when they are gone. I guess that is true after reading your post. This is a loving and supportive group, welcome, and I hope each day gets easier for you.

Love,
Gem

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 3/19/2011 8:41 AM (GMT -6)   
I saw some wonderful lavender plants at the store the other day. They aren't really hardy here because it gets too cold in the winter. Some make it with a lot of care. But I just love it. Wasn't feeling well enough to buy one though. That was a hard day. I love rosemary too. It can't survive our winters though. I use it a lot in cooking.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 3/19/2011 9:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Funny you should mention Rosemary. I love it too and managed for the first time to get it to live thru the winter in the house in a sunny place. Certainly just luck.

Feel well soon.

Gem

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 3/19/2011 1:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Gems, I am. Making a roast beef today with carrots and mashed potatoes. Can't wait until I get it finished. lol...

I hope that you are having a wonderful day.

The sun came out. Makes me smile.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 3/19/2011 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Sunlight is good. Roast huh? What time is dinner? Sounds yummy.

Gem

Luv2Chas
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/19/2011 5:48 PM (GMT -6)   
All,
 
I am not sure how to get on the site that talks about losing a loved one. I posted yesterday about losing my husband on the "To Kitt" thread, but not sure where to go to chat with others who have lost their spouse or any loved one. I chose depression because it seemed the most logical since there is no grief in the drop down menu.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 3/19/2011 8:18 PM (GMT -6)   
If you are looking for a forum on grief, I would just type in grief counseling forum in the search engine. You are so welcome to stay here. I did start a thread for you. Maybe you didn't see it. I see you started one too. Which is fine. I hope that you find the help that you are looking for. But know you are welcome to continue posting here.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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