You sound more positive, that is good. You and my new lavendar plant are blooming! I know you were overwhelmed with advice, just make small changes everyday and it will not seem to harsh. Junk food? Sometime sI crave a Coke and the good Lord above knows I love doughnuts. But as I have replaced junk food with whole food, it almost makes me sick to eat something with alot of sugar now. It is a work in progress. You are never too old to look your best and feel your best. Successful life changes can be made at any age. I am almost 53, I run or walk 2 or 3 miles a day and I feel and think I look better than I ever have. I quit coloring my hair because the dye was drying my scalp out horribly, the gray is kind of streaky and hip looking and so much healthier than my processed hair. My husband loves it. The more natural I get with my appearance and health, really the better I look. Good work on the threadmill, just keep it up, consistancy is the key. I bet in 3 months you will be surprized at how much different you look and feel.
No need to apologize, jump on in. I am sorry for your loss, I am sure after all those years it is difficult. Someone once told me that the thing that drives you the craziest about your spouse, is the thing you miss the most when they are gone. I guess that is true after reading your post. This is a loving and supportive group, welcome, and I hope each day gets easier for you.