I am new to this site. I am dealing with depression for the 2nd time in my life. For those who might be interested, I tried Cymbalta (brand new SSRI) but it didn't work for me. I am now transitioning to Lexapro (today was 1st day) & hoping to feel better.
I've had 2 & 1/2 years of stress, one crisis after another. That is what has triggered the depression. First, my father became gravely ill for a year & I turned to alcohol to self-medicate. My brand new marriage suffered as a result. I then got into therapy, which helped. My father's health improved & I was so relieved...but then I got sick myself, for 6 months. Finally I was well, & ready to get back to living without so much fear! Then a few months later, I found out my husband was chasing another woman, & I found this out 2 weeks after losing my beloved grandfather. It was too much.
I am now separated & staying with friends. I don't know how to start over. I'm so scared & considering moving to another state, where I used to live. Sometimes I miss my husband so much it hurts to breathe, but I don't trust him anymore. He is in therapy now, working through his own problems, which is good. But what we had feels like it has been lost.
I've been particularly depressed in the mornings. I wake up & start crying & feel like I can't take the pain. I'm 34, haven't had kids yet (I want to) & I'm about to start all over. I feel like I don't have a home anymore; my friends have been generous letting me stay with them, but I'm living out of a suitcase & I'm so lonely.
Thanks for reading this; it felt good to get it out.