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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 3/22/2011 7:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all I've been here before but a long time ago. Decided to come back because it's been hard not really having anyone to talk to. I've been debating on posting not really knowing if it will help. I feel like I'm in a weird space in my life lately. (ha thats why the screen name) I feel like I need a change of scenery, realizing where I'm living is just getting old. Not feeling happy about my surroundings. Trying to find a job but with no luck and I'm not really focused on it like I should be. My sister has cancer and it's terminal. Haven't really ever had a good relationship with her until about a month ago. We are the best we have ever been. It's hard because she acts like nothing is serious but I just try to spend as much time with her as I can. At first she had cancer in her lungs, got some of it removed and just really didn't address it after that. Then they found it in her stomach and wanted it removed right away but she failed to do anything and now it's in her liver. She doesn't believe in conventional medicine so even if they offered chemo I know she wouldn't of done it. There is nathuropathic sp? but most are not covered by insurance and it's too expensive. I don't care about all of that now but I worry for her kids and don't understand that if they are her world why did she let it get so bad? My mom has tried to tell her that she needs to focus on getting something in writing about the kids and what she would want for them after she goes and also a medical power of attorney, she agrees but it seems furthest from her mind. She also has severe bipolar with rapid cycling for years (thats why we never had relationship.) And of course shes been unmedicated and refuses to do so.
Anyway, I know my sis is a big issue but I feel like suddenly everything else is bothering me and I just feel kind of lost right now. I feel kind of stuck between a here and there, not really knowing what to think, what to do or how to feel. I just needed to put it somewhere......

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 3/23/2011 4:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Coming here and getting things off of your chest really helps. I am so sorry about your sister's situation. I wish she would have been more assertive and got treatment when she needed it. You are right, she needs to think aout the future of her children. How old are they? This was so sad to hear, but I guess we all have some things going on in our lives that is hard to handle. Just come here to vent and I am sure it will help you some. Nothing like seeing the words, I always say. Well, not alwys, but you know... I think it is therapeudic.

Try to take this one day at a time. I am glad that you and your sister have spent some quality time together. That is so important. Makes for good memories. You will need that in the future.

It sounds like you are grieving. I did that with my husband before he died. My first husband that is. He died of lung cancer in 2000. I had grieved so much before hand for his health. He was sick for a long time and wouldn't do anything about it. I finally got him to go to the doctor and we found out about the cancer. But I would worry about his health so much that when it finally got bad, I was able to handle it. I guess that is how it went. It has been ten or eleven years now, and life has gone on. I am happy for that. But if you ever want to share, we are here for you. I am sure you know how good the people are on here and the compassion that is shared.

Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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