Alright well I actually got plenty of sleep tonight and today all day at work I was just feeling completely restless. I had the tingling feeling in my head and the feeling like I was floating/dreamlike feeling all day. I was so wrapped up in how I was feeling all morning, and then I got a txt from a friend of mine letting me know that a friend of ours back in high school days had passed away. She was only 24 and had been battling cancer for 3 years, I thought she was doing better lately but I guess not. I hadn't really been getting updates on her because we lost touch about
4-5 years ago. But she still would keep in touch with my 1 friend and he's pretty devastated about
it. I'm concerned though because it's not really hitting me.
Am I some sort of emotionless/not caring weirdo/psycho? I was having so much trouble focusing at work even before this happened, this just complicated things further. I'm giong out to a basketball game at MSG tonight with some friends and I'm feeling like I'm in a pretty bad way anxietywise. I don't really know how to snap out of this crap, it's so frustrating. And now the guilt of not feeling upset about this bad news is eating at me too. I really do hate these pointless problems I have, why cant I just be and react to situations instead of being SO darn IN TUNE TO MYSELF!? It really robs me of all my energy/motivation to do anything because i'm so wrapped up in me. And as I've noticed lately it's putting a strain on my friendships because the interest/emotion towards them is totally lacking to what it used to be, as this one particular event is showing me once again.
Is this normal to have this level of emotional numbness? Or should I start being concerned that nothing really seems to affect me (besides anger problems)?