I haven't been happy for a very long time. I don't really know how to describe it, how I feel, so if at any point you're confused I'm sorry. I'm just as confused as you are.
I just feel empty i guess. I always think something is going to make me feel better, and sometimes it does, but it doesn't last long. I'm lonley, I feel more and more stupid everyday, I feel like everything I once loved has changed and it's just a shadow now. I feel like a burden. I feel like I'm annoying everyone. I'm trying so hard to be the way I was that now, everything I do is an act. I used to be an honor student, and now I failing half my classes. I just don't care anymore. I want things to change, but I hardly have the strength to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to run away and be someone else. I feel ugly and boring and parnoid and fake. I used to sing but now I can't stand the sound. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, and I don't know where to turn. I don't want to talke to my friends becuase it doesn't help. I tried. I talk, I cry, I feel better for about a minute, and then I revert back to the way I was.
You don't have to respond. Just getting this out there has helped a little.