Depressed? You tell me.

Should i give him another chance?
Yes, only if your sure he'll change - 50.0%
No way - 50.0%
Maybe - 0.0%

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/27/2011 11:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I was in a long- distance relationship with my ex- boyfriend for 2 years and he was very verbally/ emotionally abusive towards me. After 1 year and 9 month into the relationship i completely shut down and became unresponsive to him and he was very upset with me all the time because all that abuse had taken a huge toll on me. After a month of going back and forth about being together he finally stopped trying to get back together. Before we broke he was ver apologetic but insisted that we work things out because he says that i was hard to deal with and that we both need to change. Its been a week that we havent spoken and i cant stop thinking about the things he used to say to me and especially when he said that i made him verbally abusive towards me. I feel like it was my fault. I feel like giving it another crap but i dont know. Please help me confused

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/27/2011 11:51 PM (GMT -6)   
It's not your fault he behaved that way he is right bout one think you bought need to get help you so that you know you deserve betgter. And him so he understand that his behavior is not atlarated.know matter what he believe.

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 3/28/2011 5:04 AM (GMT -6)   
dont do it. the best thing to do is to break it of and suffer the heartache all at once rather than having to go through it continuously on a regular basis, ive been through the same situation, but you need to better yourself because you consider me. no one deserves that and dont feel as though you have to stay with him, men apolgise but they dont change, they really dont, they just convince you that they have changed and then you dont realise theyre extactly the same.

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/28/2011 6:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Quet,

I totally understand how you feel. I was in a similar situation about a year back. My ex abused me verbally until it came to a point when I totally lost it. I was going crazy and everything seemed to be like it's my fault. In that one year I was with him, it brought me more pain than anything else. And one day, everything just stopped abruptly. He stopped contacting me and I did the same too.

It took me awhile to come back to life, thankfully with my friends support. But I now know that I'm much better off without him. And I would say the same to you! I hope things will work out well for you. Take care

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 3/28/2011 7:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Run away as fast as you can from an abusive relationship, no matter what the abuse.  You may be sad now because I am sure you had some good times, but you were together long enough to see the real "person".  No one deserves to be treated that way and the longer you stay in it the worse it will get.  Also, men that behave in an abusive manner, also know the right things to say when they are trying to make up with you, Like elling you how difficult you are, it is called control and manipulation.  Don't buy into it, you deserve better.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42212
   Posted 3/28/2011 9:09 AM (GMT -6)   
I totally agree with the above posts. Don't go back to him. You deserve much better than that. You are a good person and don't deserve to be talked down to. Nobody does. Please don't go back to this guy.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 3/28/2011 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
You have to look at things from his point of view to. You are both human and things will happen. Your life styles, your personality, and your surrounding have and affect on you. If you have had a really bad childhood you tend to be abusive. But what you need to do is help him snap out of it. and instead of going back and forth or ignoring try to calmly say please stop and ask what you did wrong or what has been bothering him. You may have done something to upset him. But he has no right to be that way and just think if you were to let it go and move on and he ended up killing someone. you would blame yourself for not doing something about it in the first place. Talk to him and really really get to know him. Maybe it is just that you two don't click and you need to move on. But he needs to stop the aggression towards you. So try to help or have people help him.
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