How to stop the worrying?

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Mike619er
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Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 3/31/2011 7:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Alright well I got through today pretty well, actually had a pretty great day at work.  I still felt a lil groggy during work at times and definetly found myself lost in retarded deep thought about how I felt, but I was able to get through them pretty well.  I really think that the therapist showing me that information in his book about how experiencing depersonalization AND questioning your sanity is totally uncharacteristic of someone who is schizophrenic went a long way.  So now when I get these annoying feelings I atleast am able to (for the most part) believe it's just anxiety/depression.
 
I'm trying to put my finger on the pulse of this problem though, and just can't seem to find it.  I'm beginning to think that my anxiety feeds my depression, I don't think I'd be too depressed if I wasn't so anxious.  Maybe that's a false belief but it's just I seem to recognize my truly down and out moments are normally when I'm in the middle of, or after a panic attack.  Which I just found out from my therapist that I've been having a lot, because I never really get the body shakes/heart palpitations/sweating, I just get extremely self conscoius and fearful and my mind races totally out of control.
 
Anyways, I'm trying to limit just how much I check on this forum from doctors orders.  It's hard to kick the habit though, you guys have helped me a lot when I really get at my worst and I appreciate that and it means a lot.  That and I honestly think this forum does help, but I agree with him that I definetly was checking on here way too much.  It's just kind of hard when nothing else in your life matters besides feeling better you know?  Hard to distract yourself.
 
But to get back to the main point of this post....anyone have any tips on what to do during a panic attack?  I get so worried when I get the head tingling/head pressure.  It makes me feel like I'm floating and then I start thinking really weird thoughts like "oh my god I'm floating" "i'm not here" "i'm not in control" and I start getting irritiable.  Trying to get a handle on it but it seems that I just dont have the ability to handle this yet, I just let the physical feelings take over my emotional state.  The depersonalization is so darn bad sometimes, it's so aggravating.  Giving xanax or something like that some serious consideration.

It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 3/31/2011 8:37 PM (GMT -6)   
You've got to put trust in someone who is a specialist and believe what he is telling you. You must take the prescribed medications to alleviate the problems you have. You can reduce the amount of meds at a later time when you change your diet so that you are stabilized without heavy sedation.

The major factor is to do what the psychiatrist says about taking medications. These people know what they're talking about. If you
are serious about recovery, that's the step you must initiate. Otherwise, all the talk in the world isn't going to change anything. You will just keep going round and round, getting nowhere.

The truth must be accepted for growth and maturity. Frankly, it's
very enlightening to follow directions given you by a specialist in the field of your illness, and recovery or chemical balance is just a matter of time following the doctor's recommendations.

Take care.

It's Genetic

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 3/31/2011 10:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Your thread was titled "How to stop worrying?"

This is where we go back to learning to stay in the moment. In the now. It keeps you from worrying.

Good luck Mike.

Hugs, Karen

PS have your counselor help you with staying in the moment. I am sure that they will. It really does help.
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Precious Gem
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Date Joined Oct 2008
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   Posted 4/1/2011 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Re direct your thoughts. When I get hypomanic, I know this sounds crazy, I go into my bedroom, get it very dark in there and just sit and listen to the quiet. Alot of times I just calm down simply from not being overstimulated by the TV, or other people in the house or the dog barking. It takes work to train your brain but you can learn to not let your mind totally take you over.

Gem

Geosojda
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 4/1/2011 7:37 AM (GMT -6)   
The best tool i have for getting myself out of from inside my own head is distraction. I did for a long time have problems with being in my own head and sort of "floating" through the day, things didn't seem real etc.. What really helped me was finding something to distract myself, basically from myself. Try to take one hour a day and do something that requires you to take in stimulous but not analize it, i used video games. This always brought me back to the moment and helped me stay there. And yes living in the moment is tough but is the best answer.
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 4/2/2011 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I've tried doing that Gem but I'm gotten to the point where my own thoughts kind of scare me. I don't think of anything outragious, it's just I no longer trust myself. I don't want to hear the stupid thoughts of what I want to do, what I should be doing, oh my god how bad I feel, what is this head tingling, this headache, when will it go away? When can I get back to having fun and being with friends? When can I get my confidence back in my everyday activities?

Those are the thoughts andcycles I try to avoid....so I kind of do my best to totally avoid silence lol.

Anyway, I had a scary moment last night. I feel like a darn 2 year old writing this but, I just can't tell if it was a dream or something that really happened. I sleep so lightly lately so I don't know if this was actually some crazy weird psychotic moment. But I remember it vividly that I was lying on my bed and staring at the foot of my bed and I could see my legs and my feet, and the bed was tilting violently back and forth and shaking me and I heard this very creepy voice talking to me, I couldn't really make out what it was saying but I freaked the hell out. I either A-woke up and thought it was real or B-sat up and snapped out the psychotic moment. I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I was white as a darn ghost, I just tossed water on my face and stared into my eyes wondering what the hell is going on with me. Took me a good 2 hours to get back to sleep.


Lately to sleep I've been taking 6 mg of melatonin, it helps get me through the earlier part of the night, from like 11-2 or 3, then I struggle with waking up every hour on the hour from them until 6 am. So sleep is still pretty ridiculously rough for me to come by. But yea, it's moments like this morning that make me question my sanity....now I'm back to mildly worrying about if I'm ok or not.

Another huge problem I have is the fact that I never really envisioned myself in this type of job, and never really saw myself as the type of person to be socially independent and able to make good friends at work and out in places, alawys thought I just had the friends I grew up with and that was it. So now working in a corporate setting and meeting new people and having them atke interest in my everyday life, and just the fact of thinking of completely different things as far as where I was 2 years ago....where I was basically just thinking about my family business. It's a very huge and strange adjustment.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/2/2011 4:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Mike,

How does accomplishing a good job and making friends become a problem? It is an accomplishment. Know that you are doing good. You should be proud of yourself. Enjoy it. At least you are in that aspect of your life. I don't know if you will ever stop worrying, but have you noticed that you are worried about being worried? I hope to see you get past this and learn to enjoy your life. Life is short. It goes by faster and faster as you get older. I am serious. You will start to notice it when you get close to 30. And as time goes by, it just keeps going faster. I hope that your next visit with your counselor goes well.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 4/3/2011 4:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Yea I definetly am at the point where I'm worried that I worry, it's a pretty ridiculously annoying cycle. I just got done with work today, I don't normally work sundays but I covered at a different branch that has sunday hours. I just get so pissed though, I feel absolutely nothing most of the time. I don't know if it's because I expect more out of myself or what it is, but I just always feel like I'm not doing enough. Like I'm not enthusiastic enough, like I'm not social enough, like I'm not doing everything perfectly. That's what I was thinking about all day while I was at work today and it really did ruin my mood for the majority of the day. The most retarded thing is is that I'm really starting to get this job down, as out of it and as unreal as everything seems, I'm getting pretty darn nasty at my job :). But the only thing is, I can't enjoy that confidence because I just doubt everything I'm doing. Even down to something as simple as walking, I feel like I'm not walking straight or correctly or different. It's so freakin annoying to be this self conscious. Don't know if I'm able to correct this or if I'm always just going to be a nervous/negative person.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/3/2011 4:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I really think that with your persistance, you will overcome all of this. It just happens so subltly that you don't notice the changes until they are already there.

I really have confidence in you and think that you can do anything that you pur your mind to. Let the new psychologist help you too. Keep focusing. You can focus on the distractions, you can focus on the present. When you write you seem pretty focused, maybe there is just something that you need to tap into that you haven't yet.

I have total faith in your progress.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Glacier
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/3/2011 5:06 PM (GMT -6)   
 
I had panic attaks for a while myself. My big turn-a-round with them was getting it into my head that IF something bad was to happen to me out there, someone, I don't know who, would help me. It's that feeling of flailing around alone in need of assistance and no one helps you that was the root of my troubles. smhair
 
I also have experience depersonalization. That kinda sucks too. I just wait it out, it goes away eventually. confused
 
But I want to add this too. If you have found a therapist that IS actually helping you then I congratulate you on your persistence or luck. I wasn't so lucky. I have had some terrible therapists. skull   Eventually when I started DREADING my appointments, I just had to stop going altogether. Took a break then started hunting for a new one. Don't get me wrong, it's just that sometimes we just don't "Click" with certain people. So don't feel guilty or bad if that happens because it's gonna happen eventually. Unless of course you live a charmed life where everything goes right. wink

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/3/2011 5:31 PM (GMT -6)   
How nice it would be to have that charmed life where everything goes right. lol...
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Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 4/3/2011 5:49 PM (GMT -6)   
It means a lot to hear that from you Karen :). I honestly really doubt if I'm improving or not at times, it's really hard me to notice it when just about anything I do seems to feel so new and odd. Especially when my memory is so darn poor that I forget half the crap I do in a given day lol.

I definetly hear where you're coming from Glacier. I didn't click with my first.....5 therapists? lol I don't know if I'll ever CLICK with any of them really, but atleast this one I am seeing now I TRUST. He seems to have a good grip on what I want to accomplish from therapy, on exactly what I'm feeling, and hopefully on the next visit we can start getting together a gameplan to get my darn head back on straight. Because I just feel like one insanely messed up 25 yr old dude.... Just have to keep on keepin on though, I refuse to let my depersonalization/negative thoughts get in the way of my work. It's the one thing that's holding everything together right now is my job.

Just to complain about some other things too, the things that bring me down the most lately are the fact that I don't really want to do anything. I just want to lay around and do absolutely nothing. I know everyone says not to look back and to look foward, but....I can't help but think back to myself 2 years ago before I thought of ANY OF THIS. Back when I would hustle at work like crazy, be active and workout after work and enjoy it, play pickup basketball/softball games. Nowadays that guy is nowhere to be found. Tryin to get him back but I just don't see that fight in me anymore that I used to have. Think that will come back? I used to workout pretty hard and really push myself and enjoy it, now I just do it to avoid depression. Two very different outlooks on life from then to now.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/3/2011 5:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Atleast you are still doing it. I am struggling just to take walks, but I do it anyway. They aren't very long ones, but they are walks none the less and we will both still reap the benefits from what we are doing. It can't hurt anyway.

It is so hard to be enthusiastic about anything when you are depressed. Everything seems like such a struggle. It is hard. But you are pushing on and just because you aren't seeing any huge improvement right now, doesn't mean that it isn't happening. Atleast you are moving forward and not backwards, though it probably feels like a standstill. Never give up Mike, you will see progress soon.

Hugs, Karen
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fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Tirzah
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 4/6/2011 10:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Mike,
Sorry I haven't been following all of your threads, so maybe you've already mentioned this, but are you seeing a psychiatrist?

If not, I'd recommend that. If so, have you discussed prescription sleep medication? Meds like Ambien & Lunesta have a controlled release mechanism that makes them last through the night. Anti-anxiety meds (like Xansx) can also help with sleep. I'm not at all able to diagnose you, but there is such a thing as Sleep Deprivation Psychosis. It means that you are not normally psychotic, but due to lack of sleep you begin to have psychotic episodes. It is your mind's way of letting you know that you need to get help so you can sleep.

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 4/6/2011 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Definetly suffering from a little episodes of psychosis haha.  I'm not seeing a psychatrist but I am seeing a psychologist.  I actually see him tonight after I have this cardio training program that I signed up for through work.  It's a training class that gets us ready for charity marathons/walks throughout the summer.  Never did anything like this but a lot of people at my job were doing and convinced me to give it a shot.  Should be pretty weird but aw well, here goes nothing.
 
My new therapist did mention that he thinks I could really benefit from taking a xanax as needed.  He never really mentioned any sleep meds but we didn't really get to talking about my sleeping problems much on the first session.  Was just more of my physical feelings and complaints, and my panic attacks/anger problems.
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