Dealing with death of a loved one... advice?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 4/2/2011 12:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone,

4 days ago a family friend who was like a dad to me passed away from lung cancer... I have cried myself to sleep every night and each morning i wake up feeling happy then it hits me again and my heart literally feels like it sinks and i just cry for about 5 minutes then snap myself out of it and go to school.. But it is so hard at school to stop myself crying when everything reminds me of him and the littlest things make me want to break down... When i do get myself distracted and having fun i feel guilty as if i shouldn't be happy even when i know he would want me to and I am just so so confused and angry not at anybody or anything just angry and I miss him :( I found out about his death when i got home from school and went to school the next day which i'm thinking i should have just stayed home and grieved because it might be whats making it so hard.. but i just don't know what to do i need some advice on the best way to deal with this sort of thing :(

Thankyou all so much

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 4/2/2011 9:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

Know that there is no right or wrong in grieving and that there is no time limit on it. If it becomes a problem, I would see a grief counselor, but I think you can handle this on your own. Let yourself cry whenever you need to. The more that you cry, the more that you get out. Soon you will be reliving fond memories of him and it will be a lot easier. It gets easier with time. Be good to yourself through this period. Pamper yourself. Maybe talk to your dad about fond memories. Share your grief with him. It will help you get through.

I hope that others will chime in with some suggestions. I hope that you feel better soon. I think you will. Know that he is probably smiling down upon you right now. Wanting you to be happy. Keep up the good work and keep posting if you would like to.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 4/2/2011 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
I think your feelings are very appropriate for the situation. Try to busy yourself with something that makes you happy. After a while, you will find a place in your heart for the memories and what this person taught you/brought to your life.

Hope you have a good day and try to find some happiness in it.


New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/2/2011 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Dealing with a death of a loved one is a very hard thing to do. But remember everything happens for a reason and God doesnt take anyone unless he is ready for them. You don't need to feel guilty because it is not your fault. Praying will always help, even when you are in school and eel like crying. And remember you are not alone.
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