I am sorry for the way that you are feeling. If you check out the depression resources, there are sites and numbers for help.
I had to edit your post as we aren't allowed to discuss suicide on this forum. But we can discuss other issues that you have.
I highly suggest you see a counselor or a psychiatrist. And as soon as possible. You really need the additional help right now with feeling so down.
I hope that you keep posting, know that everybody here cares about you.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies