i know how you feel, i have felt the same way many times. unfortunately i am one of the "parents", but i have major depression disorder and so does my son. pls know that you are not alone, i just found this blog tonight and it is a Godsend! i don't know if you are a christian or not, but regardless Jesus does love you. I do know that staying busy helps..and yes, its hard when you are so down. but pls keep talking with us and know that we really do care and there are many many people just like us, it does get better. i don't know if you have seen a counselor or are on anti-depressants but if needed it really does help. your parents would want to know this, i'm sure they love you very much.