depressed over wife

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care2much
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/3/2011 6:03 PM (GMT -6)   
i have been on this forum awhile back. my wife is suffering from alcoholism. she is in a rehab program now, because she had a domestic violence arrest with her ex. her ex controls her life and told her she has to leave me or she can never be with her children. this stress has caused my wife to relapse alot. her ex controls her life, he has her children dictate her life to her, her son even physically abused her when she fought with the ex. this is a very bad situation. my wife still talks and puts trust in her ex after all the abuse he put her thru, she doesnt even show me half the respect, i always protected her and kept her safe, the moment she left me, she was arrested twice and in hosp twice. i am away from her now because, i cant keep worrying everytime i come home will she be moving back in with ex and finding her stuff missing. i feel bad for her because i dont know how long she can survive this way, she only went to rehab to please him, i lost all my money and lost my house and my wife left. im very depressed over this. i seen her after her arrest for the first time in a month, i gave her a place to stay and took care of her, when i went to see her she left again. i still love her. i dont know what to do. i am open to any advice. thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 4/3/2011 6:37 PM (GMT -6)   
If you feel comfortable being there for her at the drop of a hat, so be it. It sounds like she is taking advantage of you, but it could be the alcohol. Maybe if she quits drinking, she will be different and see things for what they are. You can only help her so much and it is going to bring you down too. As it is, you are depressed.

Is she still in rehab, or is she out now? I remember you said that you gave her a place to stay. So I wasn't sure if she was in rehab or out now.

You can love her, but don't enable her to drink and continue this self destructive thing that she is doing. If she wants to continue taking abuse from her ex and children, that is her problem, not yours. Unless you make it so. I guess it is actually up to you if you want to continue with this. It is really your call. To me, well, it is just too much drama and self destructive actions. I would walk away from it, but i am not the one in love with her, you are. But I think it is too much stress and that it is bringing you down too.

Keep posting, I am sure others will chime in with some advice for you. As always, try counseling too, it really helps.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

care2much
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/6/2011 12:18 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks getting bye. she is in rehab now, but only there for wrong reasons. i know this is a bad situation, i wish i could just erase my emotions, then i woulnd hurt as much. i know i need to step back, but its the hardest thing to do.
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