these last two weeks have been hard for me as i messed up bad. i ran into an old ex from when i was 13-15 and ended up lying about stupid thing to hubby, please dont think bad of me i was just trying to not hurt hubbys feelings it was just texts asking him how he was and talking about old times and a innocent touch when he was fixing my car. hubby was mad and i have been in the doghouse and making amends. he did forgive me though as he understood that alot of it was unfinished buisness from when we were kids. yes there were some old feelings that needed resolved and i did resolve them and quite quickly. he was a wonderful hubby and talked to me throughout the whole thing and helped me come to terms with my feelings and helped me squash them totally. made me realize what a wonderful hubby i have and appreciate him alot more and not take for granted what i have. my therapist thinks that it was the mere excitement that i felt due to my ADD and my impulsiveness took over. he says that all marriages go through this at some point. i still feel like crap for hurting hubby and have been working extra hard to make it up.
over a week ago i developed my first kidney stone (kharma maybe or maybe being punished by a higher power) and that was the worst pain ever. went to the er 2xs and yes i passed it wednesday only to find out on thursday i have developed a second kidney stone and i may or may not pass it. i am still feeling pain so i think i will pass it. my feeling is that i am being punished for my actions and lying. well believe me i have learned my lesson.
please dont hate me for my actions as i am only human and even though i am madly in love with my hubby(which i never doubted even when i was going through my problem) but i had unresolved issues with the ex. well me and the ex are still friends as he needs a friend and he was an old friend of the family anyways, the hubby has met him and is fine with the friendship although i have distanced myself and he has one more thing to do to fix my car and then we will mainly be friends through fb and if he starts to even flirt with me i will cut that off quickly. i know where my heart and home lies but please dont hate me.