I'm feeling hopeless.

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japtrap
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/8/2011 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I just recently moved to Japan with my husband (who by the way isn't a very nice person). I am now pregnant, jobless, and feeling trapped. I feel like someone has pressed my mute button and I have no voice. No matter what I do to try and get him to see that we need help he refuses and places all the blame on me. I'm at wits end now, and I really just want to throw in the towel and leave, but I can't because I don't have the money to leave. It's almost 2 am in the morning here and I'm still awake because he has yet to come back home from a party that started at 6pm. No phone call, no nothing. Some how, I don't deserve one I suppose. I just need someone to talk to, I'm very lonely, lost, and plain old trapped.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 4/8/2011 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Japtrap,

I would like to first of all welcome you to the forum. You have come to a good place for support and company. I am so sorry for your situation and in my opinion, he isn't treating you fairly. Not only do you get upset when they are late like that, but you worry too. And just a phone call would help. But some people are selfish and don't think of the other person. Plus being in another country is hard in itself. Especially when you don't know anybody. I really am sorry for your situation.

I know that he doesn't want to go into counseling, but what about you? You would get support and validation for yourself. Plus it would help you to make important decisions. Just incase you are happy in the marriage. You can move forward and hopefully be able to support yourself. Are there therapists over there that you think you could relate to? I am going to post some sites that are free of charge that might help you. Their traditions over there may not be what I would say was always fair to women. Though I am sure that things have changed in the past years.

http://www.ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome
http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/weocome

Keep posting, I know we are in very different time zones, but we get people from all over the world, so there is always a good chance you will hear from somebody soon. We also have chat rooms if you get the chance.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 4/9/2011 2:11 AM (GMT -6)   
sorry about your situation japtrap. karen has given you some excellent info. here for you as well. jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

3doorsdown
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 186
   Posted 4/9/2011 1:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Whoa I'd honestly recommend you leaving that guy and taking your baby, he's obviously not mature enough to handle such a task as he clearly accepts no responsibility, wow that guy gives men a baddd name

you do have a voice and if he is not willing to listen, go somewhere where you would be heard, whether that be counseling or another man or something, you don't have to endure this and put up with this, be brave and find the change you want

maybe it's as simple as talking to him in a different manner, one in which he could understand that you truly need help but I've known guys like him and eh it's never so simple but who knows

please be kind to yourself, believe in yourself and go be happy

natara_j524
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/9/2011 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
hello

natara_j524
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/9/2011 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
hello

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 4/9/2011 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Natara,

We have chat rooms for members who would like to chat. You click on it at the top of the page. Weekends are slow here, so don't get discouraged.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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