Im just tired of being hurt.

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/8/2011 5:45 PM (GMT -6)   
hello Im sorry for taking up space on here. I just really need to talk.

I applied for a job with the charity I volunteer with and work for a few hours a week. I had an interview last week for assistant manager with more hours in a different branch last week. I found out I didnt get it today. I just feel so worthless. The manager of that shop actually asked me to apply this time so I thought maybe I had a chance. but apparently she thought the better of it. Im just so tired of being rejected by people I know. I know she was just being fair and however much it hurts me I will be kind when I talk to her next and wont hold a grudge. but it just feels so wrong to be having to reassure and encourage and support the person telling you they decided another person was better when you feel like you're bleeding inside. and just want to ask them what is so horribly wrong with me that after asking me to apply for the job and telling me during the interview that they think im the best part time manager the other branch has ever had that in fact they still dont want me. she wants to come in on my day in my branch I think to make sure Im not going to hate her. I dont hate her, shes a good person. It just hurts too much emotionaly and I need to shut it down. Its not going to be good tomorrow either as I'm probably going to have to try to convince my boss to let it go. I know she will be annoyed on my behalf, but there is no point burning bridges with our other shops. It wont help. Why is it me that has to be the level headed one saying let it go while Im the one falling apart inside.

It changes the way I think of the time when I just volunteer as well. and I hate that. It makes me feel like im just a convenience to be forgotten and that I have no value beyond that. like I'm a body to be prodded for the right reaction and then discarded. with no feeling or thoughts beneath. I know its not like that in my branch but I hate that it makes me feel that way.

im feeling a bit broken.

[mention of self harming removed as I just found a post saying not to post about it. I cant seem to delete it from the title, sorry].

Post Edited (sleep) : 4/8/2011 6:01:18 PM (GMT-6)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42212
   Posted 4/8/2011 7:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sleep,

Thank you for editting your post. What I don't understand is why when you know that she set you up for a job that you didn't get that you can't let her know that you are to say the least disappointed. I would let her know that. You don't have to be mean about it, but be honest. Don't tell her to let it go if it is bothering you. The one good thing you know is that she was confident of you being able to handle it. And know that there could always be another chance. Find out why she didn't pick you and if it was something that you did or didn't do, work on that.
Though we aren't suppose to discuss self harm, I would like to pass on to you a site that might be helpful for you.
I don't know if this will be of any help, but I wanted to share that with you. 
I feel really bad that you are this down.  I hope that something happens to help you.  Try not to project into tomorrow, just let it bring what it brings and be at peace with that. 
Know that we are all pulling for you and want to see you feel better.  Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.  By the way, welcome to the forum.
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 4/8/2011 7:07:51 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 4/8/2011 9:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Karen. Why not ask her what would have made the difference between getting the job or not? That way you can maybe work on building that particular skill so you can get the job the next time around. Also, it usually helps to thank the person for the opportunity to interview for the position & also to express a little disappointment that you didn't get the job.

I did that with a boss once. I found out that they turned me down for the job because she thought I was way over-qualified compared to the other candidates & she wanted me to have a chance to apply for a higher level job (with better pay). She encouraged me to apply for that level of job & supported me in doing so. I never would have guessed that on my own. I sure was glad I asked.

Maybe she has another job in mind or maybe she thought you could work some more on people skills or technology skills or whatever. You'll never know if you don't ask & who's to say that something better might not come along a month or two down the road and next time you'll be better prepared and land the job.

I agree with you that if it's turning into a whole scene, you should cut if off, but there's no harm in a short, professional conversation where you ask for feedback on the interview & she provides it to you.

Wishing you well tomorrow,

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20119
   Posted 4/9/2011 2:08 AM (GMT -6)   
keep strong, something will turn up. jamie

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