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Howling Mad
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 4/11/2011 1:55 PM (GMT -6)   
I just placed a claim for ESA, based on Anxiety, which is rather coupled with my depression, if ones real bad the other is worse and so on.
But I'm nervous. At the moment, it feels like I'd never be able to manage getting, let alone keeping, a job. And everytime I've spoken to my parents, they tell me it doesn't matter if I don't like the job I'm doing, I gotta do it anyway.   and occasionally I feel that low, so it's rather bloody important to me if I like what I'm doing.
 I have panic attacks if I don't feel comfortable in situations, and I got whole hoard of other problems that don't help me out much.
 
I'm just terrified of being told to get over myself and knuckle down like everyone else. But they won't say that to me, will they? I'm terrified that if I keep going to my doctor and keep claiming ESA, they're going to turn round and tell me to grow up, it's about time I faced reality. It's only what I've been told before, when I was denied extra help at high school; because I wasn't blind, and I didn't use a wheel chair, clearly any problem I had was made up and I should stop attention seeking. I neved get the attention though :( I'm never entirely truthful when talking to people about myself.
 
Does anyone else claim ESA?? What is it like? What are the people generally like? Are they going to help me?
 
HM

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/11/2011 2:38:55 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 4/11/2011 2:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I had to edit your post as we aren't allowed to discuss suicide or self harm. It is sad to see you feeling so low. I don't know what ESA is. Could you explain it to me. Maybe then I could help you more.

Do you take any medications for your depression? Do you see a counselor regularly? That is usually what gets us back on track.

I think that the reason your parents want you to stick your job out is because right now the economy is so bad. There aren't many jobs to be had. If you have one you are lucky. You could do some searches for other jobs that you think you will like more. And in the meantime, you would still have a job.

I wish for you the best. Keep posting, but remember to check out the rules of the forum.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Howling Mad
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 4/11/2011 4:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Oops, I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention.

ESA is Employment an Support Allowance. It is basically Job Seekers Allowance but for those who have been considered "unfit for work". It means instead of proving I'm actively looking for work, I now have to prove I'm not capable of working at this time. Which I'm not, because I would probably near pass upon entering an interview.

I don't take medication, because no one is making it clear to me how to get it. For a very very short time I had something for anxiety, but it didn't work and the doctor took me off it. I've been waiting two months and a week for the counsellor referral letter to come through to me.

I don't actually have a job. And it really hurts me when they "have their say" because they call me lazy and spoilt, and it's as if they don't know the first thing about me. I've had so many coversations with my mother about all these different disorders people can have, and she'll be understanding, and then as soon as it becomes clear that I'm different, she shouts at me to stop being stupid and lazy.

It's very difficult, because one of my best friends is very open and confident, and she could walk into any shop and walk out with a job, and that's how my parents EXPECT it to happen, but people take one look at me and know I would not do their business any favours.

I had to bring this up with someone who took a "getting into work" course, because he said the usuall "Everyone is nervous in their first few job interviews" and it made me want to give up completely, because there's just no hope for me with this.

I know it's a silly line of thought, it'll go away in a minute. But sometimes I'm just so useless, I can't get anything done. I just need the ESA people to realise this isn't because I'm lazy or not putting in the effort, it's for countless other reasons that are not my fault.

I'm sorry, I'm going on and on. I'm just few up of hearing "You're an adult now, you have to accept responsibilities" when quite possibly the truth is that if I were living on my own, I wouldn't be able to take care of myself properly.

HM
AWESOME!! My signature is invisible!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42431
   Posted 4/11/2011 5:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Who calls you lazy and spoiled? Is it your parents or people where you have tried to get jobs? Have you ever been able to work?

I hope that the ESA works out for you. It sounds like you need some help.

Keep us posted on what happens. And take care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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