Is this abuse?

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Tessifer
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/11/2011 11:30 PM (GMT -6)   
When I get in trouble, my dad will get violent.
He's punched me in the face multiple times.
I took food in my room and he screamed and scared me into the bathroom, then broke the door down, punched me in the face, and smashed the food in my face.
He's punched me then smashed my face into the ground, kicking me in the side.
I'm the only kid in a family of three kids (at home, at least) that ever gets hit.
When I bring up the subject with the rest of my family, they say I deserve it.
But.. it gets pretty intense sometimes.
Is it abuse?

Ibear
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 4/12/2011 12:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes... so much so, he could be arrested for it. But why do you have to ask if it's abuse? In my opinion you should be able to see that it is abuse.

And do you think it's related to you being depressed? (After all, you posted in the Depression forum.)

Post Edited (Ibear) : 4/12/2011 2:09:38 AM (GMT-6)


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/12/2011 3:17 AM (GMT -6)   
THE POLICE NEED TO BE CALLED ALONG WITH SOCIAL SERVICES IN YOUR STATE. YOU NEED TO GET OUT-ALL OF YOU. I AM SO SORRY THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN BRAVE IN COMING HERE, KEEP BEING BRAVE AND SEEK SOME HELP. FIRST TESSIFER IS TO GET OUT. SOMEWHERE SAFE YEAH. HE WILL JUST KEEP DOING IT. SENDING HEALING COMPASSIONATE THOUGHTS YOUR WAY. JAMIE.

GET MUM AND YOU KIDS OUT. AND CALL THE POLICE. THIS IS ASSUALT. YOU HAVE BEEN ASSAULTED AND THIS IS AGAINST THE LAW. KEEP BEING BRAVE.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 4/12/2011 7:50 AM (GMT -6)   
yea, you need to get out of there, call the police asap what he is doing to you is wrong and just awful. Please get help
When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

with your past and your future precisely divided, Am I at that moment?. . I haven't decided.

Tessifer
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/12/2011 4:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm just asking because the rest of my family says that it's different, because I deserve it.
It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does.. it's scary.

Yeah, I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed since I was 6, so, although I am depressed, this doesn't really have much to do with it.
I was just wondering.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/12/2011 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Nobody, absolutely nobody, even you, don't deserve to be abused. It is not right. I don't care if it only happens once a year. It shouldn't happen at all. You should not have to live with this at all. Talk to a school counselor if you feel comfortable with that. You need to talk to somebody professional to get a grip and access this situation at home. It isn't right to have this happening.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

tfofd
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 4/13/2011 8:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't care if your in your dad's face telling him your not going to listen and what a low life piece of crap he is, he has no right to hit you like that, or do any of that stuff to you, yes it's physical abuse. Your father is old enough to know better than that. If he can't control his temper, he needs help. What are you going to do? Do you have a number for social services if you need it? They can put you in an emergency shelter, and get you into a foster care home, or there may be options where they can try to get things worked out with your family. You should at least make the call and see what they can do. Your father seriously deserves to go to jail. Does your mother say you deserve it too or just your siblings?
 
I've dealt with alot, having my kids put me down, disrespect, one hitting me, having a brick thrown at me, a gun put in my face, helping one get off of drugs, one stopped going to school, cussed at, you name it, I've dealt with it, but I tell you what, I never once layed a finger on either one of them. Both my kids have turned out great, but it wasn't easy getting there. It's tough on a kid if they don't have the love they need from a parent. I hope you don't let your dad's stupidity affect your life. I don't care how your acting up, you don't deserve that. He needs to be acting like the adult. If you are getting out of control, there are plenty of methods he can use to try to make you mind, by beating on you, he's just being a creep. 

misterkatamari
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 4/13/2011 1:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Yeah, I agree with everyone else. Even if you are being disrespectful or mean to him, he is still your father and he has no right to punch you in the face! This is very abusive and not good for you, more mentally than anything else.

Do what others have suggested and call for help. If you're going to school tell the school counselor or any teacher that you trust and ask them for help.

Hope you're doing ok. Do your best and try and get help for this, you don't deserve how he treats you at all.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/13/2011 9:35 PM (GMT -6)   
how are you tessifer? just checkin' in. with compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Tessifer
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/14/2011 8:07 PM (GMT -6)   
My mom died a couple of years ago, but, yeah, my step-mom agrees with him.
Last Halloween he punched me, slammed me in the side of my dresser and grabbed me up by my shirt, ripping it, because I wouldn't clean my room. He pulled my hair and everything, and she said that I was lucky, that her dad would've put her in the hospital.
I don't know what to do; he takes care of my family. He pays for everything and all, and if I tell, my family will fall apart. My step-mom and step-sisters have no where to go. They'll end up in a shelter., and they don't deserve that.
I just want him to be a normal human being.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/14/2011 8:17 PM (GMT -6)   
he needs help tessifer. he is rageing. please talk to someone. with healing compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Tessifer
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/14/2011 8:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, Jamie. I just don't want to ruin my family

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/14/2011 8:53 PM (GMT -6)   
You said that he hit you when you didn't clean your room when he told you to. Would it help if you kept your room clean and does the chores that he asks you to as long as the chores were reasonable? If you want to keep the peace. But know that you have options. You can seek help. It may split up the family, but it doesn't seem that the family is a very healthy environment and you would be better off somewhere else. Those are the options. Either try to do what he says so that he doesn't hit you. Or get out of there. I am sure that your siblings would be in a much better environment anyway. Besides you said that he doesn't hit them anyway. You need to seek help for your own safety.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Tessifer
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/14/2011 9:03 PM (GMT -6)   
I'll try to do that, but, being a teenager, it doesn't always work out that way, haha.
I've never been in a really healthy environment anyway, so, I'll just try to avoid him.
But, thanks anyway you guys.
I appreciate the advice and caring.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/14/2011 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
remember to stay safe. ok!! with compassion, jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

sore42long
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 4/14/2011 10:47 PM (GMT -6)   
HI,Tessifer Iwas in a similar sitution years ago and go out ,with help.It is true the one paying the bills makes rules !however never let anyone hit you ,its not just abuse its assult !!Seems to me ,it time to move out prehaps get a job outof town ,stay with a friend ?Noway you should put up with this ,it will only get worst !!!you need to put yourself 1st ,if your too young toget a job and move ,than get family counselling and tell someone you trust ,as it cant continue!please take care and try to follow his rules for now !!you must look out for you!!

sore42long
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 235
   Posted 4/14/2011 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
HI,Tessifer Iwas in a similar sitution years ago and go out ,with help.It is true the one paying the bills makes rules !however never let anyone hit you ,its not just abuse its assult !!Seems to me ,it time to move out prehaps get a job outof town ,stay with a friend ?Noway you should put up with this ,it will only get worst !!!you need to put yourself 1st ,if your too young toget a job and move ,than get family counselling and tell someone you trust ,as it cant continue!please take care and try to follow his rules for now !!you must look out for you!!

Daisysmom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 168
   Posted 4/14/2011 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   
tessifer, yes this is abuse. Being punched in the face is completely unacceptable. Your stepmom doesn't know what she's talking about. Don't worry about them, worry about YOU.

Faunts
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/15/2011 4:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Tess, I underwent child abuse so I understand why you are unsure if it is or not.

I know how you do not want to report it because of family will disown you and so forth but honestly tell someone.

You never know maybe one day you will end up killed by it. Do not suffer in silence let child support or whatever equirlent know you are not safe in that house.

If not I would attempt to sit him down, tell him how you feel and suggest anger management help. I smacked my uncle once for hitting me but this is not the way to be. He calmed down and everything is fine he sounds similar to your dad with smashing doors etc. I did not let anyone know, but eventually he saw he needed to calm down and he did.

I would let him know and if he hits you for suggesting anything threaten you will phone social services or the police. If it carries on I suggest you do that or tell outside family members like his brother or sister.

Keep us updated xx
"I need you to recover . 'Cause I can't make it on my own!" - Faunts

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 4/15/2011 8:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes I know how teenagers are, you sound like you don't really care when you say that. I don't get it. How severe is it? Are your siblings in any danger? If not, get out of there now. You can't continue with this abuse. If it were that bad, I would think you would want out at any cost. If it isn't, then just start following rules. We only know what you are telling us. How seriously do you want help. You seem to have excuses not to get it.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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