starting new meds, need support

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 4/12/2011 7:03 PM (GMT -6)   
hi all,
i'm posting this both here and in the anxiety forums because i'm looking for all the support/advice/soothing i can get. forgive me for giving a bit of a lengthy background...
i'm a first year college student. i've been experiencing seasonal affective disorder symptoms for the last six years, and also dealt with significant anxiety in high school. i was always very good about hiding my problems, and finally managed to tell my clueless parents that i needed therapy 18 months ago. my therapist diagnosed me with SAD and generalized anxiety disorder. about a year ago, i was put on fluoxetine/prozac, which i was on when i stared college last fall. i hated being on prozac- i had always been against the idea of psych drugs, and while i was on it i had very surreal suicidal ideation, very different from what i had experienced in the past- instead of "i can't deal with this depression i need to" i stopped taking prozac. a month later, i became suicidal, made a plan, and was about to carry it out when i managed to seek help, and was hospitalized overnight. obsessed with the idea of 'keeping my life on track,' i managed to convince everyone that the best thing was to get me back in school, though i was really wishing that my parents/health professionals would realize that i needed to NOT be in school thousands of miles away, that i finally really needed HELP. my parents were relieved to think that my near death was a touch of adjustment disorder and were happy, albeit nervous, to send me back to school.
this semester started off very badly, though i've been in weekly therapy here. i felt extremely isolated, was always agitated and nervous, and had panic attacks or crying breakdowns every day.  there, i saw the psychiatrist who i'd met only once, who had cleared me to return to college after my episode of suicidality. i told him that i'd been having extremely bad anxiety, and he gave me klonopin, then xanax. i spent the two weeks i was home tranqed out of my head, very calm and very sad. i realized this was not a good solution so he put me on an SSRI, lexapro, which was a big deal because my parents are very against the idea of my being on antidepressants- my dad is still convined that it was my fault that i was  because i stopped taking prozac too fast. anyway, the lexapro was going great for a few weeks, until last week i suddenly became depressed and started. i got away to a friend's house for the weeknd, but on sunday night i came back, immediately became very overwhelmed and anxious, and , leading to an anxiety episode lasting hours that was not controlled by a xanax/klonopin double dose and left me unable to breath and almost unconscious with anxiety. last night was a similar story, so i left a message with my therapist. she called me today and asked me to call my psychiatrist. after talking for about 2 minutes, he decided to put me on quetiapine/seroquel.
this is why im so freaked now: seroquel is an antipsychotic! i'm not psychotic! im just so scared at the idea of being on all these different medications and not knowing how they interact or what i can be doing to get better and i just want to be a normal college kid but some days i cant even get out of bed and i dont want to give up and go home when the end of the semester is so near and i would lose so much credit but isn't my health more important anyway? but god i just want to be better and it would be lovely to pretend everything was normal if it werent for, so i have that to deal with. i guess i'm just looking for some support with this situation... any college kids that have struggled with depression/anxiety? any thoughts on lexapro or seroquel? advice for dealing with the somewhat flaky psychiatrist? how to manage to go to class and interact with people and try to breathe and get through every day? thanks all.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 4/13/2011 8:52:10 AM (GMT-6)

Precious Gem
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 4/12/2011 7:29 PM (GMT -6)   
You have some work to do. Give the meds a try and counseling as well. You may be surprised that you are feeling better soon, I hope you are. Cannot relate to all you are going through but being in a bad place emotionally is just plain bad not matter what the circumstances are.

You are young with alot of life ahead. Please try your best to find some peace and enjoyment out of life, even is the current moment is not comfortable.

You can get well, nothing is impossible.


Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 4/13/2011 1:16 AM (GMT -6)   
I went through college and i was anxious and depressed too. I cried on my first day there because i didnt want to be there. But you know what? Probably half the people in college with you feel the same way. Hopefully it makes you feel better knowing your not that alone.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20107
   Posted 4/13/2011 5:00 AM (GMT -6)   
depressed and studying too. here for ya. jamie.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42201
   Posted 4/13/2011 8:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I had to edit your post for content as we are not suppose to post about self harma or suicide. I will write more later. Got to go hon.

Hugs Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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