a few here have some idea of what the past 2 years have brought me. For all others, suffice to say I went through my own private hell. Well, my life has completely transformed.
Since early April I have found someone who I really love and loves me for precisely who I am - faults and all! I have a new home to coincide with my job relocation, my finances are actually in the black for the first time in a decade, I actually have a concrete plan for my retirement and have found the woman I want to spend it with.
I have managed to make a clean break from the toxic relationships of my past and feel healthier than ever. I still suffer from the same old ailments but my outlook is so positive, nothing gets me down. Whenever I feel the old scripts coming back (I'm not good enough, I don't deserve happiness, I'm a bad person, etc) I'm able to dispel them quickly and recognise them for what they are - FALSE!
I've managed to let go of FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real - and DO the things I want or need to. I hope this serves as some small assurance to others that no matter how bad things get and no matter how impossible it seems that you'll get through, everything WILL WORK OUT!!
The blackness is NOT all there is - we just can't see the light through the fog. Never give up, always give the most you can, and accept help when it's offered. Too much recovery time is wasted when we try to do it all on our own.
I still take all my meds - I can't get by without them - and still need to make very conscious decisions but I KNOW I will survive, and more I will THRIVE!
Live life now, for it does have an expiration date.
Be proud - we are the strong ones!