My family is being abused by my step-dad.

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thosewhofight97
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/16/2011 4:17 AM (GMT -6)   
I need someplace to vent, I can't take this anymore. I can't escape and I just want to leave. Can someone please listen to my story and give me some word of advice?

Here's my story, it's not the worst child abuse case (I'm 13 by the way), but it's the strangest one.

It all started when we moved to our new house last month, my dad has a mental illness and has history with (I don't know if this will help find out what's wrong with him!). The day we moved in he started acting strange, it was nothing at first, but I sensed something was up. Fast forward to four weeks, this is when chaos ensues. My dad is making up these men and is saying that my mom is a "sex addict" according to what he calls her, who has multiple affairs with people by the names of: Joe Handel III, John Beemann, Saaed, Abrahiem Nammour, Mike Danzi, and four other men. My dad has claimed to have seen naked pictures of my mom and them, but refuses to show them, saying the media shall see (yes, i'm being dead serious), he said that she has been a multiple affair person after he left for work and left our house. He refuses to believe anyone in this family besides himself, he also said my mom is a necrophiliac one night at the dinner table when it was just me, him and my mom, and has weird theories and hooks his kids into his conversations. He then looks up your info and makes fun of you. My dad does set people up. Now back to the story, now that you know what has been happening. I have Asperger's syndrome as well! Now let's note my dad's strange behaviors over the years. He is my stepdad for eight years, I have one sister who is from my biological father's side as well. My mom and my stepdad (who we will refer to his real name Danny), has had one kid. For eight years he has tormented us. He is a horrible liar and a bit of a womanizer. He used to and still calls me a "defect", a "retard", a "failure", and a "psycho", he now has come into my room yelling "psycho, psycho, psycho!", it got worse, he would act like a bully in school now and start being aggressive, by fueling fights and telling my sisters "look at your violent mentally ill brother", he uses many things against us, since he has no inch of common sense, he uses my disorder against me and various other things to my family. He has tried to email our closest friends, asking to put me in a mental institution for being a "psycho" for trying to stop him from badgering my mom and he has tried to tell our friend Diane that our mother is a s*ut. He makes arguments and then stops, then the next day he'll argue again! He once again threatened to kill me when I assaulted him with a mirror because of how he acts, he also said he wants to put me in a coma.

I would also like to note the words he has said to my mom (He is Lebanese so he also uses his own words):
He has called her a "s*ut", "wh*re", "b**ch", "dirty Jew", "****ing dirt, "sharmuta" and various other nasty insults. He has called my sister names as well, saying she will group up to be a homeless sex addict. He has threatened to kill me once, when I broke an argument, he has also installed keyloggers and said I tried to find his email passwords, so my mom can date other men. He also suspiciously watches us and says very weird things, he has taken all my mom's money and our college funds on online gambling (such as poker). Today, I snapped and I threw a metal bowl at him, I cut him with it (accidentally, but I'm still happy I got lucky) and he threatened to put me in an institution for showing signs of "aggressiveness", yet he starts everything by calling me names that he think fits my disorder. He acts like someone with no common sense (as I said before), by using selective memory (saying that it's a trick my mom has given him), he even tries to make us hate our mom as well and makes "sides", this abuse has gone on for eight years and it's finally reached its tolls as he has mentally blacked out and lost all of his common sense. I am feeling very depressed, I have lost my self-esteem, and I have tried to myself because of this. My parents are hopeless, as he doesn't let me take therapy sessions and has told my school not to allow counseling "as I can lie about things to manipulate a situation", which is another term he used, I am constantly harassed, as well as my mom and sister. My sister Isabel, who is three-years old. Is being taught how to growl, hit siblings, throw things, threaten and break. She says that she doesn't love us sometimes and it breaks my heart. I love my family, and I wish I didn't have to endure and suffer this anymore. I was previously bullied at my other school, and finally my mom let us out. He has threatened to call NJ DYFS on us as he says my mom is unstable to raise us, she has never cheated and she has been a great wife and parent. She has put up with enough of this and so has my sisters. I don't want their lives to be ruined like mine and my mom's have been. He has threatened to take us away, and has called fake numbers who are supposedly men that have come to the house, I stay up till 4 A.M. and I can say I have seen no men! I want to leave, is there anyway I can stop this or should I die. I don't know what to do, and all he says is let him die. I want help, is this abuse. I just need help, somebody give me some resources or places. Thank you, I'm not lying he does this everyday and he goes through these episodes that aren't schizophrenic since he remembers and knows everything he says, he also takes pride in cursing and has tried to make us lose our connections with people, saying they are useless as we should not see people. he is on the brink of madness, please help!

He has put me into institutions for protecting my mom. He spits on her and pushes her to make us get frightened, he also makes up a pedophile by the name of Greg. He threatens to empty her bottle of heart medicine, which she needs to breathe and live properly.

He also makes you feel like he smiles when you get angered by him, it hurts to think about it! Please help, I am not lying, this is what I face daily!

- Ryan, 13, Male, A victim of child abuse.

P.S. Thanks for taking the consideration to read this and help out, I no longer feel like I have to listen to music or play a video game to feel alive and happy, once again thank you!

Post Edited (thosewhofight97) : 4/17/2011 12:38:30 PM (GMT-6)


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20140
   Posted 4/16/2011 4:30 AM (GMT -6)   
you do not deserve to be treated in this way. is there someone trusted you can talk to? know that we are here for you. ie school counsellor to talk to? keep posting, just be mindful about discussing violence and suicide.(forum rules) with compassion, jamie

SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Faunts
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/16/2011 5:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ryan

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I think the best bet is to talk to the school councillor or a teacher, they will probably forward on the case to social services but you do not deserve to be treated in this way. Tell them about the abuse you are going through as it is not healthy for you, your mum or your sister. Do not be afraid if he loses his temper as it sounds like your dad needs help as well. Let your mum know what you are planning on doing as she may be too scared to do anything about it.

Keep us updated and remember we are here for you.

Steph x
"I need you to recover . 'Cause I can't make it on my own!" - Faunts

Depression
Complex Partial Photosensitive Epilepsy - 1000mg Keppra
Dyslexic and Dyspraxtic

Anyone want to talk? Feel free to message me.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42296
   Posted 4/16/2011 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Ryan,

Please do talk to somebody about this. I know he doesn't want you to see a counselor, but I would do it anyway. They can help you. It sounds like he is psychotic in some ways. You and your family need to be free of him. Is your mom scared of him? You can get help. Together you can overcome this and live a happy life.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

thosewhofight97
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/16/2011 3:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, I tried to get counseling but it will be a week until I can get the help I need. My dad has threatened to break the computer, saying that I shouldn't lie about abuse and I should not say anything wrong about my father like that. He called my mom a "ho*" and said she was a cheater that needed her kids to lie to get him out of the house, he has made us miss school by changing our alarm clocks by an hour and two minutes, he has tried to make us truants so my mom can get warrant for her arrest. Please help me, I can't live with this much longer!

thosewhofight97
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/16/2011 3:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Faunts said...
Hi Ryan

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I think the best bet is to talk to the school councillor or a teacher, they will probably forward on the case to social services but you do not deserve to be treated in this way. Tell them about the abuse you are going through as it is not healthy for you, your mum or your sister. Do not be afraid if he loses his temper as it sounds like your dad needs help as well. Let your mum know what you are planning on doing as she may be too scared to do anything about it.

Keep us updated and remember we are here for you.

Steph x


OK, I won't be afraid, I'll try my hardest to stay calm!

Faunts
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 4/16/2011 4:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Ryan let a tutor know or a teacher. Do not wait for councilling! A week to wait? Well get them to forward on make sure you get seen to ASAP!

Keep us posted, we are here for you. x
"I need you to recover . 'Cause I can't make it on my own!" - Faunts

Depression
Complex Partial Photosensitive Epilepsy - 1000mg Keppra
Dyslexic and Dyspraxtic

Anyone want to talk? Feel free to message me.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20140
   Posted 4/16/2011 7:20 PM (GMT -6)   
we are here for you ryan. take care of no 1----YOU!!! with compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 4/17/2011 9:45 AM (GMT -6)   
No one should have to live with someone that delusional. Do what you have to do to be safe and well, Mom too. Call the police, call mental health, call an ambulance, call somebody! He needs to be in an environment where he cannot hurt anyone or his self. This isn't your problem it is his and he needs some serious help.

Good luck, I hope things work out.

Gem

thosewhofight97
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/17/2011 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Today is my sisters' birthday. He started fighting again and he is now saying my mom is with a man by the name of Mike Danzi, He refuses to believe anything my mom is saying and has fueled an argument once again. He won't stop and it's only getting worse, he is making lies as well like: "You're trying to ruin the birthday party for me", etc. He also is trying to make us hate our mother again! cry

thosewhofight97
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/17/2011 2:46 PM (GMT -6)   
So now my step-dad is harassing my mom saying she pressed the vibrate button on the phone so he couldn't here "a man" call the phone, he keeps yelling and saying don't yell "so Ryan can come out and save you!", I saw him press vibrate and she's crying saying "stop harassing me!, he is using his selecctive memory to make me angry. Please help!

thosewhofight97
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 4/17/2011 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   
He's going into a delusional and paranoia fueled rage. He is making non-sensical theories about how my mom could of made the phone vibrate, he is cursing and she is crying out "please don't curse at me!", I need some solution to stop this. Should I tell my teachers!?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42296
   Posted 4/17/2011 4:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that if you have a teacher that you feel comfortable talking to you should. This is a lot of stress for you to deal with. And you should be able to learn and be yourself right now without all this comotion going on to distract you and make you worried and afraid. Yes, talk to a teacher. They will help you. If your dad gets violent call 911.

I hope that everything will be okay.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

JamesonM
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 4/20/2011 2:21 PM (GMT -6)   
I would call the police. It doesnt have to be physical violence, mental abuse is very serious.
25 year old male, UC since 2005, Salofalk 2g/bidaily, 100mg Imuran, 38mg effexor XR (weening off)

Christina1234
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/20/2011 3:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Tell a teacher right away. It might be embarrassing to tell such personal things to someone you see everyday, but teachers are legally required to report abuse. Tell the teacher that you would like to speak to a case manager from CPS alone, without your parents there. Take control of your situation.
 
I grew up in a similar situation with an abusive step-dad. I am 27 now and in therapy and on medication for anxiety. I wish that I had called CPS when I was your age. Get out now while you can still prevent some damage to yourself. Make sure you stay in contact with your CPS case manager and tell them if you have any problems with your foster family.
 
That's my advice. Good luck.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42296
   Posted 5/20/2011 3:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christina1234,

I just wanted to welcome you to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am glad that you posted advice on this. I take it you have had some experience with this situation. It is nice to know that you aren't the only one. I am sure that your advice is very much appreciated.

Do take care, and keep reading and posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Busymomof3
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2011
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/15/2012 1:36 AM (GMT -6)   
I think there might be toxic mold in you house. If your dad can't detox it could make him act crazy.
There is a drug out there called Cholestyramine (CSM) which is commonly prescribed for mold exposure. However you can't take it with food so Welchol might be easier.
I found the following info from member 1bitten2xshy helpful:

 The following is an overview and is designed to stimulate further research rather than suggest a specific protocol.

Drug Options:

Cholestyramine (CSM) is commonly prescribed for mold exposure. This is a bile acid sequestrant, which binds bile in the gastrointestinal tract to prevent its reabsorption. It works as a mycotoxin binding agent. CSM can be compounded to contain no sugar. (One pharmacy which does this is Hopkington Pharmacy.) When taking cholestyramine it is important to take it 2 hours before or after any nutritional supplements, as it will bind these as well.

Activated charcoal and bentonite clay are two natural binding agents and often taken with CSM.

Anti-fungal drugs. These include the plyenes, the triazoles and imidazoles, allylamines and more. Nystatin is an example of an anti-fungal drug. Anti-fungal drugs can be taken in nasal spray form.

Low-dose Naltrexone. Naltrexone is an opioid receptor antagonist. Low-dose Naltrexone (LDN) has been shown to be effective in treating immunologically-related disorders.

To find a doctor, check the list of physicians on the American Academy of Environmental Medicine website. The level of knowledge regarding toxic mold varies. Two other possibilities include: 1. The American Board of Environmental Medicine, which is currently working on an online list of physicians, and 2. The Institute for Functional Medicine.

Natural Options (often integrated with conventional medical therapies):

Garlic, Oil of Oregano, Pau D'arco, Olive Leaf Extract, Caprylic Acid (found in coconuts), Barberry, and Grapefruit Seed Extract are some of the natural anti-fungals.

Glutathione therapy is often vital to recovery. 

Skin Remedies:

Rashes often appear during mold exposure, as well as during the de-tox process.

Ketoconazole cream is a topical anti-fungal cream. Other skin remedies include tea tree oil, coconut oil, grapeseed oil, grapefruit seed extract (diluted).

Charcoal soap can be used as a de-tox agent. It can be combined with ketaconazole shampoo lather.

Epsom salt baths are helpful.

Anti-Fungal Diet:

One goal of an anti-fungal diet is to starve the fungus, thereby halting the cycle that often occurs. Sugars and carbs feed the fungus. Chlorophyll does the opposite. Green foods are therefore effective anti-fungals. Alkaline diets incorporate a similar goal. Microorganisms such as bacteria, viruses, and yeasts thrive in an acidic environment but do not thrive in an alkaline environment.

Some chlorophyll-rich foods include spirulina, chlorella, and wheat grass.
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