I can understand and sympathize with you readily. It's very good that you are going in to see your primary physician this week; you might wish to discuss these feelings that you have with that doctor. I'm sure you know from your own study of multiple sclerosis that depression is one of the major symptoms, so your doctor needs especially to know that you are suffering with that.
Don't feel embarrassed to discuss any of the symptoms of multiple sclerosis that you have with your physician. The more he knows, the better he's going to be able to pinpoint just the right medication to give you relief.
Try hard to center yourself--that is, not to see all the bad side and not to see the good side only--look for things to be generally well for you.
One of the best little books I've read recentlly is called "Keeping It
Simple". That's one good way to sugggest how you might treat depression: read the things that are designed to improve feeling tone. Keep things from getting complicated. Try resolving one thing at a time. If it's the depression you need help with, see to it that your doctor prescribes the best medication out there for those symptoms. Ask for it, Amanda, if you are willing.
If you are not seeing a psychiatrist for depression, you might wish to talk to one. These physicians are experts in care for depression, and they will know a good bit more about it than an internist or general practitioner, although there are many, many good general practitioners
who are caring and attentive.
It takes time, also, to recover from surgery. Allow yourself to feel getting better day by day. Expect it to take just a while for your system to recover from the operation.
Your husband loves you, and he will work with you while you try to
recover. Keep your eye on him and help him get the rest he needs from a 12 to 13-hour workday. The time will come when you will be able to assist him outside the home. For now, take care and be gentle with yourself. Watch your diet; get the good, wholesome vegetables that you need and easily digested meats, such as chicken,
lamb, turkey, etc. Back away from the spicy, highly-seasoned foods
and drinks containing caffeine. Reduce the amount of difficult-to-digest meats such as beef, pork, organ meats, etc. Avoid alcohol completely.
Caffeine and alcohol make depression worse.
And take care. Come back please and let us know what your doctor advises, and if you need additional help everyone here will try to assist.