Feeling really down right now

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CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 4/24/2011 5:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Guys. It's been awhile since I have done this, but I'm having a huge pity party for one right now. It's Easter Sunday evening and I'm waiting for my kids to get dropped off with their dad as they spent the day with him and his family.

Personally, I slept through most of the day today. I was really productive yesterday but my moods have been so up and down the last 2 weeks. I just can't seem to snap out of it.

I'm in the "calm before the storm" right now. I had thought that a good majority of my problems with selling and moving out of my house would be over by now. After paying my lawyer several thousand dollars he could not convince my ex-husband to sign off on the short-sale of my home to a buyer that my real estate agent and I exhausted ourselves on finding. There was not enough equity left in the home to pay my ex-husbands interest off (as real estate prices have dropped) and he has decided that "he" wants our kids to stay in this house. Even though he knows darn well I can't afford it. So....it's only a matter of time before the next part of this saga starts.

I also lost a friend from one of my jobs about 2 weeks ago. I had confided in her on what was going on and suddenly she has gone out of her way to avoid me....despite my several attempts to see what was wrong. In retrospect I should have kept my mouth shut and just stayed professional. Now I think I may have lost respect from some of my other coworkers that I worked hard to get.

Last, I let another friend down and am afraid to call her back. ...I seem to be making a lot of lousy moves and decisions as usual.

I don't know how to make myself snap out of this. I am so emotionally shot and I'm tired of life at the moment. I know its up to me to work on changing things but I'm out of hope. I'm tired.

Cass

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 4/24/2011 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Cass, Gettingby and Jamie are away tonight, but Gettingby will be back tomorrow, she says. I know that you all are good friends and communicate well with one another.

My impression of your situation is that you are a victim of the times, frankly. This property devaluation thing has hit many people right where it hurts: in the pocketbook. I hope that you didn't release your lawyer from service, because if you can't afford the home and your ex-husband isn't willing to sell the home,your lawyer may need to stay with the situation until something is resolved. I would not expect that you and your ex-husband will be able to agree on practically anything unless you have a very mature relationship with him now.

Having said that, you may wish to stay with any psychiatric help you're getting for depression (more likely post traumatic stress syndrome from the events occurring now). He will be able to relieve some of the burden by suggesting alternatives for you to follow just as your lawyer will do. In addition, your medication may need a higher dosage or changing or even a new anxiety med added. This is just a struggle that you have to be strong about and continue to look for ways to resolve it. If not, it will resolve itself in time.

That leads to what are you going to do? I think Gettingby would say "stay in the moment". Don't look back and try not to look too far
into the future until you're advised to do so by your specialists (meaning your psychiatrist and your lawyer). Think only for today.
That may relax you somewhat.

The friendship difficulties are more than likely part of the efforts to release stress that your friends just couldn't manage. Try to forgive them, but keep your relationship with them, at least, professional. The
people to talk to about this will be your two allies--lawyer, doctor.

You need your strength to protect your two children and yourself. Keep the home as best you can, pay what you are able to pay, and make sure the children are cared for with love and gentleness. All the rest will work itself out in time. The real estate market may make a comeback quickly if the economy improves. I'd keep the home on the market and be willing for it to be shown when it's convenient for you. You might even try talking to other real estate agents for their opinions and options for you. Some of them are very smart about good ideas.

Take care; hopefully, Gettingby and Jamie will have the magic words
to help you through this.

Take good care of yourself psychologically now; it's very important.

It's Genetic

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 4/26/2011 7:58 AM (GMT -6)   
oh my dear you have been through a lot. sorry about the house and your friend ditching you-not much of a friend in my book if they do that!! and at work too, can't they see you are under stress!!! geez, people nowadays!! you need a desress outlet. try to calm your mind a tad, write out what is happening-this i find theraputic. and remmber cass that you are a good person!!!!!!!!!!!! never forget that, ok!!!!!!!!!!! just under stress. yes maybe a med tweek is required. cass know that i am here for you. as we all are on the community. keep strong and give yourself some time-out!!! with healing compassion i send, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

notsosicklygirl
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 16442
   Posted 4/26/2011 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry you're feeling so down. I am down too, that's why I am reading this depression forum. Perhaps reading about depression isn't a good idea when you're depressed? I think you're just in a period of change in your life as far as the move and you're feeling stressed about finances and that's enough to get anyone down. I would like to think that things will work themselves out for you. Hopefully your ex husband will open his mind to the shortsale, as there probably aren't too many other options in this market, and hopefully moving will give you the fresh start you need. Sometimes homes and places from the past can tie you down or cause you to get into a funk where you are trapped and moving on can be a step towards freeing yourself from the stressors that are holding you back.

Maybe you've misinterpreted this friend? I don't understand why she would avoid you because you opened up about your personal life? Doesn't seem like a very good friend. I think you're in limbo and you need to regain your confidence but once you do, things will improve.

I don't think it is a bad idea to see a professional and get this stuff off your chest.
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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 4/26/2011 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cass,

I was offline for four days. Just got back on this afternoon. I think that you have been given some very good advice by your fellow members. I don't know a lot about the housing market. So I am not much help there. But I am here for you. And as IG said, stay in the moment. Keep in contact with your doctor and your attorney. I know that they are expensive, but it is worth it to have one. The counseling is so important, especially now. I am sure that you know that I am a firm believer in that. I go regularly and I don't know what I would do without having one to talk to.

Know that we are all here for you Cass. And we all wish you well. Have faith that these things are going to turn out for the best. Keep your chin up and keep trying.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 4/27/2011 12:20 AM (GMT -6)   
keep strong cass. here for you. jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 5/6/2011 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies.  I am sorry that I am only getting back now, but my hard drive has crashed on my computer and now I have had limited online access.

It's Genetic:  Your reply was so well thought out and gave me some relief when I read it.  Thank you for your understanding and caring.  I am really scared right now and not feeling good is making things that much harder.  But your compassion shone right through, so thank you for that.

Notsosicklygirl: thank you for your support too.  I know reading about other's depression doesn't always help but I have also found that replying to someone else's post to help them usually helps myself.  I hope you found that too. 
 
Karen and Jamie:  So glad to hear from the both of you too.  As an update, my friend from work is not mad at me.  I guess she has been going through some things on her own and just wanted time to herself.  She came up to me this past Tuesday and started talking to me as if nothing had happened.  I was honest and let her know that I thought I had upset her and she assured me this wasn't the case.  I guess I am just so sensitive right now that I took it too personally.  However, I will not be sharing anymore at work.  I see the importance of keeping professionalism separate.
 
.......I am still feeling really low right now but after talking with my therapist on Monday I know that the changes I need to happen will not happen until i do something on my own to create the potential for it.  I am just hoping  that I can find some strength to do this.
 
Thank you all again for caring.
 
Cass

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 5/6/2011 11:25 PM (GMT -6)   
your on the right track cass. hoping your computer gets soughted soon. they are a bugger when they crack the poops!!! know that we are here for you, glad you and your friend at work are cool. take care of you and post when ya can. we care about you!!! cass, you are stronger than you know, i said this in my thread you posted to me on and i am saying it again..............why? because you are. with mich healing compassion, jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 5/7/2011 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cass,

Know that you are deeply cared about here. I am sorry for your computer problems. I was offline for a few days last week and it drove me crazy. Finally after about five calls somebody helped me get back on. I was totally lost. I am so dependant on the computer now. But it did me good in a sense. Got outside more and walking to kill time.

Good for you for seeing a therapist on Monday. Do let us know how it goes. I hope they are nice to you and a good fit.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 5/7/2011 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   
all the best with ya appt cass, jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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