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originalone
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/25/2011 5:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Well where do I start? I'm a 15year old girl. Firstly I've not had the best of childohoods but I've not had the worst either, I've never lost anyone really close until last year..my uncle..I've never lost anyone before so I didn't/dont know how to cope. Till this day I'm still not over it. It wasn't a sudden death, he had gone missing 3days after my birthday and 2-3months down the line he was found dead, so in that time I was so stressed and scared he might be dead. And ever since I found out he was dead I've never been the same. I now suffer from panic attacks I am also a very angry person I feel asif I have all this anger in me. I keep things in bottled up. I also have OCD which is very stressful&annoying. In school I wag a lot of my lessons and because of this I'm behind on so much coursework so I've basically f#cked things up in school. I also had a boyfriend who I absolutley loved/love we was on and off for a year and he treated me like an idiot. He keeps messing my head up saying he wants me back and all this but with everying goin on and how stressed I am I don't think I can cope with him but I really do love him. I also have a sister who is really ill. I'm just so stressed all the time..

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/26/2011 3:58 AM (GMT -6)   
hi jamie here. first sorry about your uncle. i think it is real important to talk to someone. my first suggestion would be your school counsellor, this way they can better understand and help you....yeah. are you able to talk with a family member? i feel that a chat with your doctor is warranted also. the doc can help you work out stuff and or put you in touch with people who can. (referal). also it is possible that you may require some medication. hoping this helps.  #hugs#  jamie.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

originalone
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/26/2011 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Thankyou, my doctor did refer me to a place. But it doesn't help. I'm constantly feeling depreesed also I can't help but be horrible to my mum I try bein nice and I can't,I'm such a horrible b#tch to her. I have a reallly big secret I've never told anyone and feel like telling someone to get it off my chest but I know it would cause dissapointment,upset.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/26/2011 2:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Originalone,

Do make sure that your secret is within forum rules hon. Did you read them? Please do if you didn't.

I am sorry about your uncle too. This must really be hard for you. Maybe you need some kind of closure with this. Have you talked to anybody about it? Like a counselor or something? That might help you get closure and then it wont effect you so much.

I don't like that your boyfriend is treating you like an idiot as you said. What kind of things does he say that makes you feel that way? You should be treated with kindness and respect.

I hope that things get better soon. Keep posting as we are here to support you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

originalone
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/26/2011 4:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Thankyou. Don't worry I'm not about to spill my secret.. &no I don't really speak about my uncle to anyone,I dwell on it as people say. I was so close to him,I still sometimes think he is gonna come back, but I don't know if I'm depressed cos like I've never lost anyone who means a lot to me before? He wasn't just like an uncle he was like a mate too :( If I lose anyone else I will not be able to cope. & basically when we was together he was speaking to another girl, so we finished then 2 weeks later he was telling me he loved me and wanted me back.. So I went back then that time we split because of a different girl and then after all that he was tellin me he wants me back,he's nothing with out me, so I took him back again and then It didn't work out.. But he now wants me back again, but I actually love him, I've never felt this way about anyone before, he says he loves me and all that, he also goes in random moods,one time he went in a mood because I asked him about a girl, he didn't speak to me for 2days, I don't think he understands what he does to me, with everything else I have goin on, things just build up &get to me.. and I hate when I feel like that,when everything gets to me,I hate crying aswell!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/26/2011 5:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Don't let the things build up, write them down on paper and keep them somewhere where nobody can read them. Get them off of your chest that way. Then it wont build up so bad. Or tell us, as long as it is within the rules. Just get it out and that way it wont fester and then explode. I know it is hard, but you can get this under control.

Maybe write something about your uncle down, kind of poetic writing. That could be a hidden talent, you never know. And even if it isn't, it is getting it out of your system. Keep trying. Don't ever give up.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/26/2011 5:53 PM (GMT -6)   
keep strong. we are here for ya. # hugs # jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

originalone
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/27/2011 2:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I've tried writing my feelings down,it doesn't help? But thankyou :)

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 4/27/2011 3:44 AM (GMT -6)   
keep tryin', we are here for you. jamie. ps keep strong
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/27/2011 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Do keep trying as Jamie said. Sometimes it takes awhile before it becomes therapeudic for you. Don't give up.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

originalone
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/27/2011 3:38 PM (GMT -6)   
But I want it all to just end.. Cos I'm sick of it, yuno when your tierd of trying. I also feel asif everyone thinks I'm weird,cos I have OCD.

BerryBlonde81
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 4/27/2011 6:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Originalone, I was hit with extreme depression at 15 1/2 I was freaked out, had no idea what was happening with me, just all these feelings that I did not understand, was so depressed just wanted to sleep and for it all to go away...have you been to a doctor who can help you? I was on my first medication at that age as well, Zoloft, on it for 5 years and it did help. I understand the deep veil of depression and feeling as if it will not lift, but that is the point where you have to seek help, and coming here to post is the first step. How about seeing a doc, if you can a specialist, such as psychiatrist would be best and that is there specialty. But primary care doc can give you anti-depressant too. Wishing you luck on your journey!
Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011

Medication History:
Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2001
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
375mg daily Deptkote; .25-.5 Klonopin as need

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/27/2011 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Originalone,

Start taking life just one day at a time. One moment if you have to. Live in that moment. Try not to worry about what other people think. Learn to try to control your ocd. There are a lot of people with this condition. I think that the above post is correct about seeing a doctor. Or a psychiatrist. I think counseling would be good too for you. You have a lot to offer and are a wonderful person and I think you need to know that. Keep trying. Don't give up.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

originalone
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 4/28/2011 8:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I get help with my OCD as I feel its takin over, but yeah I'm gonna see a doctor about my depression, thank you all so much!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/28/2011 9:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so happy for you that you are going to see the doctor. A lot of us have some type of chronic illness along with depression and that makes it so much harder. With this forum, we can all share. I think it is great that we can give comfort to eachother.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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