PLEASE HELP MY SISTER!

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JIJI
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 43
   Posted 4/27/2011 4:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys- so Im 22 and my sister is 26 and she has been dealing with depression for a while now and I just dont know how to help her. So she graduated from college 3 years ago, went to do some work in a different state and had to come home because she was not getting along with her room mates. And has done some temping but never gotten a full time job. I know it is hard for her because she has no insurance and no job but for the past 6 months all she has done is wallow. I know that she is not looking for a job as hard as she could be its like she is just waiting for a job to knock on the door. And in the mean time she is grumpy, mean, she lashes out at me, and the rest of the time shes like all mopey. Im home with her because ive been dealing with lyme disease for 10 years but Im not depressed and I just dont know what to do for her.
 
Ive noticed a pattern over the years--she will be having a hard time then starts the wallowing and then she starts screaming that shes going to kill herself, now shes never actually done anything but regardless that is so disturbing to hear. I love my sister i consider her my friend and I want to help her I just dont know how. She cant even call and make doctors appointments for herself and I want to help her but I have my own doctors appointment and its like shes the older one. I try to help her as I know how--I cook her food and bake her things and I try to make her favorites whenever I can. What I need to know is how can I help her? What can I say that will make her feel better?
 
It is hard just because due to the fact that she is dealing with all of this, I have had to start doing everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, ect. Which is extremely difficult for me because I am chronically ill with Lyme and have alot of pain from it. We live with our parents but they work so its usually just us and its always so tense here because my sister just cant do anything and it just puts strains on everyone and my parents are fighting or picking on me. So please just tell me something so I can make my sister feel better. When she is her self she is so great and funny and a blast to be around but when she is like this it is soo hard to be around her, I just really want to help her PLEASE tell me what I can do!! Thank you. -S

BerryBlonde81
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 157
   Posted 4/27/2011 5:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Has she been in to see a good doctor a specialist such as Psychiatrist?? I dont think regular physician would be able to help as in depth as a specialist can, mabe she has a mood disorder -- I do -- and what she is going through sounds simular to what I put my family through at times, and I sought help...what are your thoughts?
Bipolar II - Second Opinion Diagnosed 4/11/2011

Medication History:
Zoloft 1996-2002?
Paxil 20mg 2002?-2001
Paxil 30mg 1/28/11-4/4/11 - increase not helpful; more anxiety; backed down to 20mg nightly
Switching Meds:
4/11/11 Paxil 20mg; Cymbalta 30mg nightly
4/18/11 Paxil 10mg; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
4/24/11 No Paxil; Cymbalta 60mg nightly
375mg daily Deptkote; .25-.5 Klonopin as need

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/27/2011 6:15 PM (GMT -6)   
If you make that appointment for her, will she go? If you go with her, maybe she will. If you can get the ball rolling for her, she will probably be so greatful. She has to do the work, but she needs to start somewhere. And if you could help her, that would be wonderful. Just think she will be so much better off if she sees somebody.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Blondie37
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 4/28/2011 4:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you think she'd join this forum? Sometimes, and by your post, it sounds like her pride is not allowing her to admit she is depressed or needs help....that's a touchy one....I was that way for years and suffered miserably cuz of it. Maybe she doesn't realize that tons of people are just like her, especially in this economy. It also sounds like she struggles with bitterness & anger....those are....well, spiritual problems, she may be oppressed by (don't mean this to scare you cuz it's not a scary thing, it's actually VERY common) the devil.

If I were you I'd pray for her, Pray in Jesus' name that he would bring the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ between your sister and any evil forces in her life and pray for spiritual healing. Do you think she'd let you pray with her??

I guess, what i'm saying is, I believe that people that suffer from anger, depression, and bitterness (well, sometimes they don't even know it) need God's grace to do a work in their heart (He did in mine).

This is where true Christ-like love comes in, are you willing to love her, even if she's a b****, are you willing to take the blame and be the "whipping post" so to speak from your parents?

Sounds like God wants to use you to help her, I will pray for strength for you and wisdom, just be gentle. When my husband goes through his bouts of depression I ask him gently before leaving for the day if there's anything I can pray for him for SPECIFICALLY today. Then throughout the day I let him know I'm thinking of him, sending him texts, etc. I know you're always with your sister so...well, I spose just yield to what she'd like to do. Do makeovers on ea other, or watch a funny movie or series.

I do love helping people, and would love to email her if she wanted to, you can too if you want, just click on my username and it will bring you to my profile page.

I'll be praying.

Sincerely,
Blondie
Blondie37_Fibromyalgia_terrible back of neck/shoulder area pain_degenerative discs_chronic pain for 15 years_new to pain management_can't take ibuprofin due to taking too many_have taken and tried everything from antidepressants to morphine to lyrica to muscle relaxers to xanax to valium to celebrex, etc.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/28/2011 6:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Blondy,
 
I just want to let you know about a rule because you have talked about religion in a lot of your posts.  You haven't broken any rules thus far, but I want you to be aware of this.
 
. No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes.  The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support.  Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere.  Limited religious references are allowed (ie. "my prayers are with you" or a brief quote as part of a larger post), but the forums should not be used to convert others. 
 
Just to be on the safe side.  I do appreciate your faithfulness.  As I am a believer too.  But we aren't allowed to discuss it here.
 
Best wishes for a wonderful day my friend.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 4/28/2011 9:29 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with the others make an appointment for a psychiatrists, take her, it'd be the best thing you can do for
her and for you....She needs to get her life back...
well wishes to you and what you choose to do...keep us posted, okay...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

Blondie37
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 4/28/2011 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen, for the warning, I'll remember to tone it down. I spose if I got kicked off the forum for expressing God's power it'd be a good reason :-)
(But I don't want that to happen & don't want to offend anyone)

Hugs,
Blondie
Blondie37_Fibromyalgia_terrible back of neck/shoulder area pain_degenerative discs_chronic pain for 15 years_new to pain management_can't take ibuprofin due to taking too many_have taken and tried everything from antidepressants to morphine to lyrica to muscle relaxers to xanax to valium to celebrex, etc.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/29/2011 6:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Blondie,

Like I say, I believe. We just can't let it become main topic.

Thanks again for understanding.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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