Hi Chamari, I am a newcomer to this forum,but it seems there are some really solid, educated people out there who now life. I had a significant other for 13 years. It was really really hard to leave him, I truely loved him, but he's an alcoholic and and an addict. I just couldn't take it anymore. Yes, he too promised to marry me,but I couldn't because of all the damage he had done to me and my children during his years of drinking and druging, I tried Alanon, counseling, advice from friends and family, but when it came to the point where i had to go on an antideppersant to maintain my sanity, then i got the strength to leave him.I don't know your situation how long together if you have kids together, but i do know what it feels like to leave someone who you truely loved, but had to put your own sanity first. After we broke up or ishould say after i left him, he hooked up really quickly with a new woman who was so controlling she wouldn't allow us to communicate. Her jealousy was so overwhelming we stopped talking. That was 5 years ago. I haven't to this day talked to him or have not seen him. I dream of him alot.I would love to know where, how, what he is doing, but I've learned to let it go.perhaps it would be better to try and avoid him as much as possible. in the long run it will do your heart good, and you can learn to live your life, and live in happiness. Time does heal all wounds.Think of you and you first. Let him go with love and try and love yourself.Night time is the worst for me. If I could just take my brain out at night and put it back in in the morning then maybe i could get a decent nights sleep. Your not alone there are alot of us out here suffering from failed relationships, illnesses, depression, anxiety etc: keep communicating through this forum, I know you'll get the best advice.Hang in there, truely from stuckinarut.