My dad lives in Calafornia. I don't talk to him anymore and have cut all contact, but we had a month where we were mostly looked after by our step-mom and my Grandad came over with us too when I was 16. Calafornia is a beautiful place, you should be able to do a lot of healing there. Sure, life has dealt me some crummy cards but I try to live past them. If I spent everyday dwelling on the genes (and perhaps parents) I could have got, then I'd never be able to live my life as I'd always want to be someone else. It gets hard at times, but I take the biggest breath I can, and just carry on. I'm living for the good bits now, because I know they're going to happen. I go to a disabled social club and I love it there, there are a lot of people with cerebal palsy and spina bifida lots of different people coping in different ways. It is a big help to share coping tactics and encouraging each other on when we go on group trips and things. It put things into perspective for me. I mean I could be like some of my friends having to spend 24/7 in a wheelchair, I would hate that, I would feel trapped, but they are so happy with it, and it just reminds me that out bodies and minds can be quite resilient sometimes. Things will always move forwards never back, and I have spent a good few years training my mind of that. Tomorrow might just be a better day, and even though you can't see it yet, isn't the surprise of that better day when it comes, just wonderful?
Now, I'm trying to move forward, I'm trying to be the teacher I've always wanted to be. I have backup plans ready for if something slips, but I've got to try. Admitadley, I haven't made this attitude for myself, my tutors mostly have pushed me just enough, held my hand at times and gave me opportunities to practice and grow. Mostly my husband didn't think I could do it, and wanted me to give up college last year, but it just made me more stubborn that I could do this.
I think that's what keeps me going. While I know I'm achieving and learning - I'm living. Also there are my nephews who I adore, and I'm going through IVF myself. Children make me whole, just their smiles and their innocence and they give me that chance to be a kid sometimes. It gives me energy and hope and when tmes get dark, and they sometimes still do get dark and very scary. I deep down know I'm not going to be there forever though.
Everybody has something to cry about
, everybody. Even the richest people in the world suffer sadness. Your life is your own, and your down times are times that you're not used to and which feel so bad to you. My bad times might be better or might be worse, but I'll feel the same level of sadness when things are bad for me. Never feel guilt for your feelings, guilt can be so powerful but you're allowed to feel however you're feeling.
This website is a fantastic resource for your own healing. You can bounce around your feelings and know they wont come back to haunt you. You can ask questions about
meds and different treatment techniques and know you're talking to people who have either dealt with it or dealing with it themselves.
Hey, I'm Gem with CF, age 25 and diagnosed at 2 years old. I'm from the UK and say weird things sometimes. I'm no expert but I've lived through a lot of CF stuff. Diagnosed with:
Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild Liver Cirrohsis, Mild Oste
openia, Erythema Nodosum. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type thing.
Post Edited (Gemsi) : 5/3/2011 3:10:31 PM (GMT-6)