I haven't posted in a while, but I really need some advice now. I have been having trouble making friends in college and I don't have any who still want to remain friends from high school. In January, I met this girl who is in the same boat as me and she insisted we hang out. It was such a relief to make a friend.
She began texting me every week to hang out. We live a little over an hour outside of a major city so every weekend, she would text me to go into the city. I was so scared to say no to her so I always agreed. This was a problem because I have a severe anxiety disorder, fatigue syndrome and several other health problem and it was a little difficult for me to spend 12+ hours in the city walking around. I also take 6 classes and have a job so I got really behind in my studies. However, I NEVER said no because I was always afraid that she would find someone else and I would be friendless again.
This went on for about 6 weeks. Finally, we went out on a Sunday and I had 2 exams the next day and 2 on Tuesday. For the first time, I told her that I can only stay in the city until 6 and then I needed to go home and study. She was disappointed and since she has never texted me again. I texted her once to go to lunch near where we live and she agreed, but she was very disappointed and told me that the following weekend we should go into the city. I had to go to a church service on Sunday, but I could go on Saturday.
I didn't hear from her again and about a month ago, I texted her to have lunch again. She made an excuse and I asked if the following weekend would work. She said yes and that she would text me that week, but she never did and now it's been 4 weeks.
I am so hurt and depressed. I feel like there's something wrong with me, like she met with me for a couple times and didn't want me to be friends with me anymore because I'm not good enough. She has friends in the city, but I got the idea that they are busy because she spent her weekends with me. It hurts to think that she would rather spend time with other people than with me and I am paranoid she found someone else to replace me. I even have dreams every night that she finally texted me and am heartbroken when I wake up and realized she didn't.
She was my only friend and she dumped me. I feel like I suck as a person and even people who want to be friends with me at first, get to know me and hate me.