Trying to help a friend.

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New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/2/2011 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there, I recently stumbled across this site in search of help. My friend has been feeling low, and generally depressed, I've asked them to contact their doctor to speak about their feelings, but they feel uncomfortable talking to someone about their problems. I feel helpless, this is my friend, and it's upsetting to hear that they're hurting. They've told me that these emotions have been affecting their daily life, they can't study and are therefore failing their classes, which only cause them more upset. If anyone could help, I'd be very grateful.
~Thank you.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 5/2/2011 9:24 AM (GMT -6)   
I will be honest - but this is just my opoinion, and may only fit for me.

The BEST thing my friends can do when I am low, is just be my friend. Not to talk to me about how I feel, or why, but to pick me up and go shopping, or out for a meal, or anything, except put more pressure on me. In those low times, I just want to feel 'normal', therefore I need my friends to do 'normal' things with me.

(This is made easier for me, as only a very small handful of my friends even know I have depression.)

I acknowledge that my friends can't fix my depression, or make it go away, it is for me to manage as best as I can.

That being said though, can you offer to take her to the Dr and you go as support. The earlier a diagnoses is made, the quicker a solution can be found.

And welcome to the boards, you sound like a very good friend that has gone to this effort for your friend. Don't tell your friend how hard it is for you to see her like this, this will likely add to her guilt, and perhaps she will hide it from you in the future

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 5/2/2011 9:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bittersweet,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us. I think Awty makes a lot of sense. If you can't get her to the doc, maybe to counseling. She needs an objective ear and support right now. But remember, it is up to her. You can't force her to feel better or fix her. She has to take that initial step. But you can support her like Awty said. I hope that your friend feels better soon. She is lucky to have you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 5/3/2011 1:37 AM (GMT -6)   
hi bittersweet, welcome. agree with above posts. counselling really helps me, i feel it will you too. sending healing compassionate thoughts your way. jamie

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