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granto4
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/3/2011 11:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi,
Recently I have been diagnosed with depression. I have also found out my 15 yr old daughter tried to take her own life. My mum has to have a triple by pass this year and my dad has been ill as well. several of my daughters are preg one just giving birth to twins at 30 weeks. So they have a uphill battle. My hubby and I work away from home 8 days and back 6. My 15 yr old is supposed to stay with her sister who lives close but refuses to. My counsillor I have been talking to says that I should look at giving up work for now to help out which is what I want, I am scared this will put us back into financial difficalty, we have been there before. I am having trouble persuding my hubby that I need to stay home with our 15 year old as god help us if anything happened to her while we were away.Have so so much on my plate I just don't know how to cope.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 5/3/2011 11:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

And welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I think that you need to be with your daughter as much as possible. Is there any way that you could work part time or from your home? It sounds like you are in a hard place right now, but do know that things do work out for the best. Take it one day at a time. Maybe have a talk with your daughter about the way that she is feeling and ask her if it would help her if you were home more. Let her know that you are concerned about her without alarming her of what your fears might be. Such as her making another attempt. ( we are not suppose to talk about suicide on the forum so I have to be careful how I say things). Plus your financial worries, would she understand your situation. I know that you don't want to make it look like you are babysitting her, but I understand your concern.

Are you going to any counseling? It is nice to have the objective feedback. You do have a lot on your plate right now and you have to be able to take care of you too and to vent when needed. So think about the counseling. And you can always bounce stuff off of us.

Take care, I hope that you are feeling better. Remember, one day at a time.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

granto4
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/3/2011 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen,

Yes I am seeing a counsellor, after discussions with her I feel better and even she was saying, how would I feel if something did happen while we were away, on the law side of it if she is alone and something did happen we would be in trouble. Then when I get home after counsilling, I always feel guilty about the finances as there are certain things that would have to be given up if I stopped work where I am. Even though he don't realise it my husband has a way of making me feel guilty about leaving work where we are. The $$$ are so good but if there had to be a choice my daughter (family) comes first. Alot of this has to do with over 14 years ago we lived somewhere else and were on the povety line....and now are doing ok, as they say though you live to your means and even though we are earning so much more now we are living to our means, silly I know. Hoping to see a budjet counsillor soon as well. So much else going on as well I feel so swamped sometimes. I have been given some anti depressants they help but of course they don't take away the problems.

Thanks

tryn2gtbtr
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 5/3/2011 11:31 PM (GMT -6)   
cool  Hi granto4, reading your post this evening, so sorry to hear about your daughter. It just seems that she may need your attention physically, not financially. It's a tuff life out there for the teens. So more things to deal with. Pier pressure alone. Find out who her friends are where she's hanging out and most of all just being there for when she's ready to open up to her mother. But I know from past experience of 3 children trying to be on top of they're game is crucial. Do you have the kind of vibe where the friends of hers are aloud over? I reccomend that highly that way you can get a grip on her socail life.It's really scary for a young teen. Having her mom home I think is more important. Money will come, it always has a way of rolling around somehow someway we moms and dads make it work. Have you considered working with your daughter together, maybe cleaning houses, baby sitting, waitressing???? Just some suggestions.Hang in there. Stay close to your daughter. I think it will give you peace of mind. Best of luck. And see what help you can get through government help or your church or temple. Stay strong, turn susan

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 5/3/2011 11:55 PM (GMT -6)   
sending healing compassionate thoughts your way granto4. stay strong. we are here for you. jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

granto4
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2011 12:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your replies, yes Susan my daughter has her friends over all the time and I know them. They are all lovely teenagers. What you said is so right , thank you.She is the youngest of 4 her older sisters have all moved out of home, The one thing her sisters always had was mum at home which I found so rewarding. As you said the money will come, doing what I am doing maybe in another 4 years would be so much better. Least I have had the training now and can go back to it. Both my hubby and I drive dump trucks in a open cut mine here in Australia.Very long hours and draining. So it very hard when we talk to my daughter at home and shes having problems and we are in the middle of the Pilbara. Thanks this page is such a help. Sitting writing down feelings and everything brings things into perspective.

Thank you x

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 5/4/2011 1:06 AM (GMT -6)   
me australia as well. victoria. my cousin is a cememter up at mount isa. keep posting, we care. jamie
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

granto4
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2011 5:41 AM (GMT -6)   
I have no choice, done a budget and there is no way I can leave work without putting ourselves in debt.
Why did we get ourselves like this... give me strength...please :(

granto4
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2011 5:42 AM (GMT -6)   
My head hurts, my heart hurts ...

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 5/4/2011 6:09 AM (GMT -6)   
i am sorry to hear this. very sorry. my healing compassionate thoughts i send, jamie. know that we care. sorry that i can't be of more help.
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

granto4
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 5/4/2011 6:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Just hope my baby girl will be ok..... :(

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 5/4/2011 6:20 AM (GMT -6)   
SHE IS IN MY PRAYERS. KEEP AS STRONG AS YOU CAN BE. JAMIE
SCHIZO-AFFECTIVE DISORDER, EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, BORDERLINE TYPE -AXIS 2 , BI-POLAR AFFECTIVE DISORDER AXIS 1

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/4/2011 7:30 AM (GMT -6)   
 
I am sorry to read of your problems.  I know it sounds really bad right now but can you rework your budget and kindly remember we always have a choice.  If you owe money to your bank or on credit cards you can contact them and talk about a way to reduce your monthly payments.  Try cutting corners and give up things you have gotten use to with your good income. 
 
I know it sounds impossible but we have had to do just that when due to illness our budget was cut in half.
 
Any chance of getting a part time job that would allow you to be home with your daughter when she is out of school ?
 
I know your feeling so much stress right now and I wish I had better advice.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers. 
 
Gentle Hugs,
Kitt

~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"
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