Depressed and divorcing

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New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 5/4/2011 12:51 AM (GMT -6)   
I've always been an extremely happy person on the outside....but I'm always hurting on the inside. Most people do not know this. Things were starting to go okay for me though....I married a soldier who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with..I didn't think I could be happier. My world crashed, however, a week later when we found out he was getting deployed. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. When we found out he was coming back, my world was alright again. Everything was going right and I was on top of the world. Since he has gotten back, he has not been honest with me about anything. I found out he was cheating, and saw proof. This really messed with my self esteem....and I didn't really have good self esteem anyway. When I confronted him with the proof I had, I was willing to work things out. But he wanted a divorce. Now, a lot of my family and friends are mad at me because they believe it was my fault. I have done everything for this man....I have loved him the best that I know how....spent the past year waiting for him and being faithful....all for nothing. I've had to hide my pain because people are just used to seeing me "happy"....I'm starting to get to the point that I really don't care if I wake up every morning or not. He's all I think about and I'm hurting more than I ever have before. I feel empty and lost. How do I deal with this?? Thoughts of him are keeping me up at night and even when I do sleep, he haunts my dreams. I feel like I have no where to turn.....Can someone please help me?

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/4/2011 9:02 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to the depression forum and to HealingWell. We're glad you're here. You're in a very dark place right now and it's hard and lonely. But everything will be okay with time. You need someone to talk to and we can fulfill that hole for you to some extent, so it's good you found us.

I am so sorry for your pain and suffering.  First of all, the people that are blaming you have no right to judge and IMHO they should just be quiet.  Do not feel guilty or believe these people.  They are not living your life,  you are.

When you lose a  love relationship, you are likely to feel great sorrow and heartache. Even when a bad relationship ends, there can be deep pain and grief. Coping with a divorce can be very painful, and most people go through this experience at some point in their lives. But the challenges posed by such a deep loss can be turned into opportunities, enabling you to not only survive, but also thrive. Learn to understand your feelings and develop tools to cope with your relationship breakup or divorce.

Perhaps seeing a therpist may be a good idea to help you build up your self-esteem and learn how to cope with this sad situation.

Keep talking with us.

Gentle Hugs,


Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

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