Welcome to the depression forum and to HealingWell. We're glad you're here. You're in a very dark place right now and it's hard and lonely. But everything will be okay with time. You need someone to talk to and we can fulfill that hole for you to some extent, so it's good you found us.
I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. First of all, the people that are blaming you have no right to judge and IMHO they should just be quiet. Do not feel guilty or believe these people. They are not living your life, you are.
When you lose a love relationship, you are likely to feel great sorrow and heartache. Even when a bad relationship ends, there can be deep pain and grief. Coping with a divorce can be very painful, and most people go through this experience at some point in their lives. But the challenges posed by such a deep loss can be turned into opportunities, enabling you to not only survive, but also thrive. Learn to understand your feelings and develop tools to cope with your relationship breakup or divorce.
Perhaps seeing a therpist may be a good idea to help you build up your self-esteem and learn how to cope with this sad situation.
Keep talking with us.
~~Kitt~~Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease. www.healingwell.com"If you can't change the world, change your world"