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New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/4/2011 3:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I recently have started to realize how much that I have sabatoged every relationship that I have ever been in.Firstly it is extremly hard to be able to confide in anyone for fear of being judged.I am a young mother of two beautiful children and have an extremly understanding and loving husband.My question is what do u do when u have in your past and continuing in to the now felt the need to either cheat,argue or any other thing to run ur love away?This is what I have done since I started dating I would start to feel something for a person and everything would be fine and I would do something to screw it all up.The problem is now I am grown women and am married with a family and I don't wanna mess this up.To describe my history my mother and father split when I was very young and I also lost my father at 7 yrs old.My mother has been suffering depression for yrs and remarried my stepfather who was abusive to me in peticular.Ialso have 2 half sisters.My stepdad was controling and very strict.When my father died there wasn't any comfort from anyone.I have gone through some therapy over the yrs and have had some help but feel like this pattern never goes away.I am at a loss for what to do ,I know maybe more therapy would do good but any other advice will be great.Thanks! shakehead

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/4/2011 6:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and we do not judge here but you may get different opinions.  :-)
You are right,  you seem to have a need to sabotage your relationships.  You are now married and he does sound like a wonderful person.  Before it is to late please see a therapist to help you work through why you feel the need to take a chance on ruining your family.  Perhaps it was something in your past that is causing you to feel you do not deserved happiness.
You talk of your abusive stepfather - you may be destroying these relationships to make yourself  feel like your getting atonement for what you have endured. 
Please seek help as you deserve to be happy and not living in dread and turmoil.
Gentle Hugs,
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"If you can't change the world, change your world"

New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/4/2011 7:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank u!Any advice is def appreciated. blush I know for sure therapy is whats needed,I just know theres no quick fix and I guess thats whats so frustrating.I gotta take all of this a day at a time

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 5/4/2011 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   
therapy really helps. i am in therapy and it was the best move i ever made. much healings to you kaismommy. ps, welcome to the forum. jamie

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