Hi, Faithfully4U, I've promised not to try to give advice but to post on subjects that I think might be helpful to all forum members in some way. You seem special, somehow, so I hope my neighbors here will forgive me if I post one more time to a member:
You have an extraordinarily sensitive nature, Faithfully4U, which leads me to believe that you may be gifted in several ways. If that is the case, you need to go online and begin reading about
giftedness and learn what you're like since gifted people may not always be aware that their sensitivities just don't register with "normal" (no such thing) people. It's like handling a delicate piece of china as opposed to a tough, rigid microwavable bowl. (Forgive the analogy-it was the first thing that came to mind.)
By learning about
what the gifted personality is like, you may be able to calm your inner state and begin the search for where your best talents lie and try to work on developing them. You should convert your loneliness into creativity. The child within is begging you to do that. (Try this: draw a picture of yourself with your non-dominant hand. That will show you how your little one inside feels about
herself at the moment. Keep working at
it until you feel happy with the way she is and you've stopped laughing at your drawing. The laughter is good for you; it releases the unconscious aggressions or anxieties.)
Earlier, you posted a remark about
"loving someone is nothing; being loved by someone is not significant , but loving and being loved by someone is everything." (Or something similar) I was struck by that because somehow it seems important in life to love on a very high level, even though the love may not be returned just as one had wished. God always has a better plan in the long run.
To love is what we're here for; but it's too narrow to limit it to one who
is believed to be the soul mate. The highest love is always given psychologically and spiritually (outside the physical realm). Do you think that since you are obviously a gifted and very sensitive person that you can
raise your level of love to a higher state, such as that described by Saint Paul or Elizabeth Barrett Browning or Robert Browning or Shakespeare's view of real love? Nothing surpasses the Shakespearian sonnets for the depth of feeling and beauty of language expressing real love, or even the sadness of love as seen by Emily Dickinson. The deep things of life always involve both joy and sadness.
Your situation is almost like that of a first love. It's idyllic, but not realistic. Real love is hard work, as you know, and it's a powerful drive to
cause maturity and develop high reasoning capacity.
If your emotions are getting in the way of your intellectual ability to love,
maybe you could use some anti-anxiety medication until you can get your footing back properly with the gifted intellectual functioning you appear to be so capable of displaying.
I dislike so much the idea that human love may not be adequate. It's really very profound when it's directed to one's Higher Power; then it's showered in a spiritual sense among others. Limiting one's love to a soul mate only
puts a huge responsibility on someone else to meet our needs when we need to be meeting some of them ourselves.
Does this make sense? Or should I keep posting about
ideas and stop the advice? You make the calls. I do think I'm right about
your being a very gifted personality, though, and that carries with it strong personality traits that many people don't understand.
Look for the miracle, always.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 5/14/2011 4:23:32 PM (GMT-6)