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New Member

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/7/2011 7:28 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm 23 years old guy. I'm an eccentric loner. Ever since I remember, I've been getting on and off phases of crossdressing. I'm heterosexual and these desires of crossdressing keep bothering me. When I crossdress, I refer to that person as my alter-ego. It gives me relief, and takes away my pain. She's my alter-ego.
I never had a girlfriend. I had a massive crush on a girl when I was 16, and it took 7 years to get over her. For some reason, I was stuck on her, stayed her best friend, listening to her relationship problems and being her shoulder to cry on. Later everything changed, I could move on to some extent.
These days I started liking another girl, really beautiful and charming personality. But she too had a boyfriend and my chances of getting to know her were eliminated.
My problem is that I rarely like some one, there are many nice people around, but only rare times I get attracted to a girl. Being alone all these years makes me feel like a loser. On top of it, the desires of crossdressing creates ambiguity in my mind. Why is it so difficult for me to open up to people, why I only end up liking people who are not reachable, why I feel 'outsider' in group of people. I'm loner and I don't socialise much. There is nothing much happening in my life, as much as I see in others. The depression takes toll on me and I end up keeping myself away from others, because some times I find peace in company of my own. Still, the past and crossdressing habits had affected me to a large extent, I'm scared that I'll end up alone and turn in to some weirdo.

Can some one help me with this issue please?

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/7/2011 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Chat Buddy and welcome to the Depression Forum,
I am sorry to read of your problems and I hope I can help you  a bit.
Cross dressing remains somewhat of a mystery. IMHO, it is intensely personal.   Without the need to justify the behavior, and no longer shamed by society perhaps we will be better able to answer this baffling question.
For you I would suggest that you seek therapy to help you get through all your issues.  There is nothing wrong with being a lone if that is what you choose.  Many people are happy being in their own company.  I get the feeling that you are reaching for friends but have some issues with committment especially when choosing  female companionship.  Choosing someone that is already committed almost guarantees that you will not be in a relationship.
You posted, " Still, the past and crossdressing habits had affected me to a large extent, I'm scared that I'll end up alone and turn in to some weirdo."
You will not turn into a weirdo.  You will get better with help.  You seem like a very nice person and I hope you stick with us, we are here to support.  

Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 5/8/2011 5:49 AM (GMT -6)   
i agree with kitt chat buddy. i am in therapy and it is really helping me. yes, welcome to the forum too!!! remember that you are a unique person with gifts and talents that are unique to you. and remember to be true, be you and love you. jamie. with compassion to you. keep posting.

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