aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

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stop tired
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 5/8/2011 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
i have been with my current partner for 6 years we live together & are engaged but he always tells me it wont go any further i was 24 when we got together and he is 11 years older than me (which is not really relevant) i have a daughter and he has 2 amazing kids they all live with us and i love them all dearlly however recently i feel like iam tiping over the edge i work 2 jobs and until recently my partner has been unemployed i look after a little boy in the community who has complex needs and he has become extremely ill which is deeply upsetting for me my step son has anger issues and i can find this hard to cope with i have totally supported my partner finacialy and emotionally for 6 years however if  i become upset or angry he puts me down calling me a freak or a misserable cow i cant talk to friends and family as i dont want them to hate him i have a history of self harm due to things that happened to me when i was younger and have recently started  releive stress i dont want this to lead to more severe harm but i just really want to screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 5/8/2011 3:47:51 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/8/2011 4:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi stop tired,

I had to edit your post as we are not allowed to discuss self harm on this forum. But you sure are under a lot of stress right now. I always suggest a counselor as they have worked so well for me. I am sorry that your partner is calling you names, that is uncalled for. You sound like a great, kind and gentle person. I hope that you don't take it to heart. Is he still unemployed? This just doesn't sound right if he is and you are working two jobs plus taking care of all the kids. Does he help at home with things? I sure do hope so.

I am glad that you have posted here. It will help you. And by the way, welcome to the forum. Do keep posting, take a look at the rules when you get a chance. I feel that you are carrying a heavy load, and I don't want to see you buckle under. Take care of you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

stop tired
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 5/8/2011 4:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your kind words iam sorry i should have read the rules before posting :( my partner has justed started work this week i was hoping it would show a change for us spose it is to early to tell. he does do some things around the house. i just want a bit of support or feel some form of commitment but cant really talk to him as a feel like a nag and cant cope with the put downs then it builds up and i feel like i may blow thats when i get called a freak or a pscho but honest iam not just want to give love and be loved back xx

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/8/2011 6:08 PM (GMT -6)   
We truly understand how you feel. That is all that all of us want. But maybe your husband isn't depressed and doesn't understand depression and how you feel. It is terribly hard to live with somebody who puts you down. It is like emotional abuse. I, myself (now) wouldn't live with it, because eventually you start to believe it. It brings you down. At one time in my life though I did, for 23 years. But in the end, it wasn't like that because he got cancer and died in 2000. Then he depended on me, but I still gave him unconditional love. So I am not saying he will always be this way, but you really need to talk to a counselor who can guide you through this. And make a better life for yourself. If not learn to express your wants and needs, and maybe he will change. But you might have to leave the situation all together if he isn't going to change. I know it is a hard decision, but I would go one step at a time, starting with a counselor. You may not be able to change him, certainly not control him, but you can change you. And change your situation around you. Learn to communicate, and if he can't do that, well, you may need somebody who can. Just saying.

I am glad that he started a job. This could change him and his way of thinking, knowing that you are working twice as hard. Just saying because you have two jobs and children to look after. And absence makes the heart grow fonder. You wont see eachother as much. So your time together should be better. I hope that this helps some.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

stop tired
New Member


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 5/9/2011 1:53 PM (GMT -6)   
update brought a desk for the girls room today one of the girls made pie at school and wanted to make one for tea so helped whilst also putting desk together he went mad because the kitchen was a mess so the girl refused to continue so i had to finish tea make the desk and calm her down i told him kids make mess which was responded with the ussual calling of freak. he started playing with the girls to make friends but continued to make remarks at me telling me he cant wait to chuck me out. ihave given him so much given up ever having more kids i told him can he not just leave me alone stop being mean i was angry so he told me to stop putting on a show and leave him alone i did and havent been near him since i feel broken inside how can you give someone and their family so much love  and watch as they hurt you again and again shakehead

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/9/2011 3:31 PM (GMT -6)   
You most certainly don't deserve to be talked to in that manner. I am sorry for what you are putting up with. It seems like he has anger issues and isn't happy. I really wish you would talk to somebody who can help you more. Get your strength back and get your self esteem back. Know where you stand in life and go from there. You are doing a really good job with the children. And yes, kids make a mess. Some of them are too young to pick up after themselves and we have to do it. That is a part of life and being a parent. I am sorry if he doesn't understand that. Please get a counselor to help you to stay strong. Be patient with things. Try to do something nice for yourself. I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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